Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 117177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117177 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 586(@200wpm)___ 469(@250wpm)___ 391(@300wpm)
“Hallie, wait—”
But I was already in the hall, yanking open his apartment door. “Night!”
“Hallie—”
I banged it shut behind me and rushed for the elevator. It was as if the elevator gods were on my side because the doors opened right away and shut just as I heard Chris’s apartment door opening. The elevator descended before he ever made it to me.
Five minutes later, I miraculously grabbed a cab. Once inside the cab, which smelled of Cheetos, holding back my desolation, I rummaged in my purse for my cell to distract myself. Except there was a missed call from Chris, along with a text.
I’m worried about you. Text me when you get home.
I waited until I was in my apartment, until I’d kicked off my shoes and poured an enormous glass of water to counteract the enormous glass of wine I’d consumed, to text him back.
I’m sorry for rushing out on you, but I’m fine, I promise. And I’m home. Going to bed. I just need some sleep.
His answering text was instant.
Sleep well. I’ll call you.
Did I want him to call me?
As I crawled into bed and my tears fell, I considered setting up my laptop so I could pour all my feelings out into a video letter. I hadn’t done that since meeting Chris. Because I’d had the real person to talk to and we had been growing close. Now I couldn’t voice my feelings. Maybe because they felt too big, too dramatic, considering how little time I’d known him.
Yet, I couldn’t remember feeling this bad when any of my boyfriends dumped me, and Chris wasn’t even a boyfriend.
Maybe it would be better to create some distance between us? Give myself some space.
But Chris had called me one of his closest friends.
I couldn’t imagine that wasn’t a big deal for him to admit. It wasn’t something thirty-five-year-old men went around spouting willy-nilly.
My chest ached at the thought of hurting him.
He needed me.
Not in the way I wanted him to, but he still needed me, and he was one of less than a handful of people in my life who treated me with respect and believed in me.
I wasn’t sure I could give that up for anything.
TWENTY-THREE
Chris
When I returned to Earth, the only thing that took longer to get used to than gravity was New York City. Up there, the humming machine sounds of the ISS were the only source of constant noise, and it was the kind of noise I easily adjusted to.
The first night I spent back in New York after five months in space and weeks in the calm environment of the physical therapy center in Houston was the hardest. I couldn’t believe I’d never noticed how incredibly noisy the city was. How I’d never paid much attention to the almost constant sound of sirens and movement of people and vehicles. It had always just been a part of the city’s soul. Its music. But when I got back, it was too much at first. Too loud. Too chaotic. Too everything. However, eventually the sound of New York City became like the machine noise on the station. It disappeared into the background, and I barely noticed it again.
Waiting outside the restaurant not far from Hallie’s office building, I wasn’t aware of the foot or road traffic, the music spilling out of restaurants and bars, the laughter and conversation of people passing by. I gazed down the street, anticipating Hallie’s appearance.
I hadn’t seen her in a week. We’d only talked through texts, and even then, she’d been off with me.
I’d fucked up with the friend comment.
As soon as it came out of my mouth, I regretted it, but then I’d thought it didn’t matter because until I admitted the truth about the videos, I couldn’t explain I was interested in taking her out on an actual date anyway.
But then she couldn’t get out of my apartment fast enough, and afterward she wouldn’t answer my calls.
Never in my life had I chased anyone. I didn’t know if it was the stubborn pride I’d inherited from my father, but I abhorred the idea of chasing after someone who didn’t want to spend time with me. I’d never done it with anyone, friends or women I was interested in romantically. Not even overtly my father.
Yet I was on the verge of dropping by Hallie’s apartment and telling her everything, laying my cards on the table, when she texted me last night to apologize for not being around. She gave me excuses about her work and then asked if I wanted to have dinner with her the next evening near her office. More relieved than I could say, I of course agreed.
And tonight I would tell her everything.
Hopefully, she’d forgive me long enough to let me kiss her, because I didn’t think I could go much longer without kissing the hell out of Hallie Goodman.