Total pages in book: 248
Estimated words: 236909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1185(@200wpm)___ 948(@250wpm)___ 790(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 236909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1185(@200wpm)___ 948(@250wpm)___ 790(@300wpm)
Even after he’d learned what I’d planned, he had proven it. No one, not even me, would’ve blamed Nyktos if he had locked me away in one of those many cells I’d seen earlier. But he hadn’t. He’d been angry, rightfully so, but the anger hadn’t lasted.
I knew this. After all, he’d given me his blood because he didn’t want to see me in pain.
Nektas had been right.
Nyktos did understand my actions. He accepted them. Two things even I knew were far more important than forgiveness. Nyktos knew me. Heard me. And he made sure I understood that a part of me was good. That he didn’t see me as a ghost. Or a monster. He saw me, as someone strong and brave with or without the embers, and I now knew he’d been telling the truth when he claimed to be angrier about what he believed to be my lack of regard for my life. That he cared despite his resolve not to see me as anything more than a Consort in title only. Despite his very real inability to love. And because of that, all of that…
I wanted more.
I wanted to be his wife.
His partner.
His Queen.
I wanted to be Nyktos’s Consort.
Afraid Jadis was falling, my arms tightened around her out of instinct as I became aware of her weight easing from my chest.
“It’s okay. I have her now.”
My eyes fluttered open in confusion at the sound of Nektas’s voice. He was seated at my hip, carefully untangling his daughter’s fingers from my hair. It was clear she still slept, her legs limp, even though her hold on my hair was stubborn.
“She doesn’t want to let go,” Nektas noted with a faint grin.
Realizing I must’ve fallen asleep, I glanced at the floor. Aios and the dishes were gone. My gaze flicked up to where Reaver was curled in the chair next to the couch, eyes open but sleepy.
“I’ve never seen her sleep this long.” Reaver rubbed at his cheeks with his fist. “Ever.”
Exactly how long had we been napping? I wasn’t sure, and it didn’t matter because I also realized my chest was humming faintly, meaning only one thing. My gaze swung back to Nektas’s hands. Nyktos was here. In this chamber.
Everything that I had been thinking about before I fell asleep came back to me in a rush. What I knew. What I wanted. Oh, gods. My heart was pounding all over the place, and I was a second away from tearing my hair free and running from the room as if I’d woken up and found a sekya sitting on my chest. It might be a bit of an extreme reaction, but I didn’t know what to think about any of this. What to do or how to act. The wanting of something I could have was foreign to me. Because just like Nyktos, I’d spent a life of just existing, and wanting felt like living.
And that scared me even more since there was a really good chance I’d screw up a possible future—if there turned out to be one—with Nyktos. One that could be real. I wasn’t just a messy person. I was the mess. I was temperamental. Violent. Stubborn. Prone to moodiness, anxious one second and overly confident the next. I could barely deal with myself on most days, but I wanted Nyktos to be able to handle me. My breath wheezed as Nektas worked all but one last tangle from Jadis’s fingers.
“This is all your fault,” I muttered under my breath.
Nektas’s hands halted. “What is?”
“Everything,” I grumbled. “Except the current situation with Jadis and my hair.”
“It’s been a long time since someone blamed me for nearly everything while I had no idea what I’d done.” A quizzical smile appeared. “Strangely, I think I missed that.” Nektas’s eyes lifted to mine—
I stiffened.
His eyes flashed a shade of blue so bright and intense that they briefly resembled polished sapphires before they returned to the deep red hue I knew.
“Your eyes,” I whispered as he finally got his daughter’s hand free of my hair, tucking her and her blanket against his broad chest. “Not sure if you’re aware of this, but they just changed color for a couple of seconds.”
Everything about Nektas changed in an instant. The smile was gone. His features sharpened as the faint ridges of scales became more prominent. “What color did they turn?”
“Blue.” I glanced at Reaver, who looked as if he was still half-asleep. “A really bright, intense blue.” I thought his skin lost a little of the rich, coppery hue it usually had, but I wasn’t sure. “Is that normal?”
“Sometimes,” he murmured, then leaned forward. He pressed a quick kiss to my forehead, stunning me into silence. “Thank you for watching over the younglings.”
I watched Nektas rise, not quite sure how I’d watched over them unless falling asleep counted. Reaver clamored from his chair as Nektas stepped to the side, and then I finally saw him.