Total pages in book: 248
Estimated words: 236909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1185(@200wpm)___ 948(@250wpm)___ 790(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 236909 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1185(@200wpm)___ 948(@250wpm)___ 790(@300wpm)
I stepped back, a physical reaction I couldn’t stop because he sounded genuine. Like he really did know that he’d hurt me. That I had a reason to be hurt. Somehow, him acknowledging that was so much worse than I could’ve imagined. I felt the veneer becoming even more fragile. “Don’t apologize,” I said, finding my voice as I folded my arms over my chest. “What you hurt was my ego. That is all.”
Nyktos shook his head. “Sera—”
“It is I who is sorry.”
He jerked, his eyes widening. “For what?”
“For what you think you know,” I parroted his words. “I was foolish and naïve to believe you when you said there had been no one before me. I should’ve seen right through that the first time we were together. That is how you hurt my ego.”
His nostrils flared. “That wasn’t a lie.”
“I think it’s time for you to stop lying.”
“I’ve wanted no one but you, Sera.”
I laughed, the sound cold as I refused to let his words sink in. Because I couldn’t trust him, and I couldn’t trust what I would do with those words.
“I know what you think you saw, Sera, but we were not having sex,” he said, his eyes flashing an intense silver as my gaze snapped to his. “If you think you saw that, you are wrong. I have absolutely nothing to gain by lying.”
I backed up but then stopped. I wasn’t sure what he had to gain by lying, nor was I sure what I had to gain by the smidgen of relief I felt. “Then what did I see?” I asked again because, as I’d already proven, I was a fool.
A muscle ticked along the curve of his jaw, and I let myself glance at his throat. There was no bite mark, but I could still see it in my mind. “What you saw is…it’s complicated.”
I inhaled deeply, confused and rapidly losing control of my hold on my anger. “Again, that’s all you have to say? Don’t even bother answering. I don’t care that you were with her. That’s not—” I stopped myself with another laugh. Stop lying. I stiffened, realizing there was no face to save. When I lost control under the palace, I’d laid myself bare. “You know what? Seeing you with her did hurt my feelings. I don’t know why. It shouldn’t have. You have made no promises to me. And I have asked none from you. This union between us was never something that either of us desired. We don’t need to discuss what you were or weren’t doing any further. I know what I saw. You’ve apologized. It is what it is.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means the deal we made? It’s over. The only thing between us now are these stupid embers. I want them gone, and then I want to be gone.”
He took a measured step toward me. “Gone from what exactly?”
“From here,” I said. “From you.”
Hollows formed beneath his cheekbones. “You can’t be gone from me.”
I stiffened. “If you say that because I must become your Consort, I understand all the reasons why. But I will be that in name only. And once you remove the embers and Kolis is defeated, I want out of this. I want my freedom. That’s the deal I should’ve made with you.”
Eather churned in his eyes. “Is that the deal you’re asking for now?”
I lifted my chin, holding my arms tight against me to stop them from trembling. I had to, or that shaking would move into my chest. And I had to say what I did next because I couldn’t feel that hurt again. I couldn’t lose control. “Yes.”
Nyktos went completely still. “Then so be it,” he said, and the words felt like an oath.
A bond.
Unbreakable.
Chapter 32
“Are you sure you’re well?” Orphine asked, glancing at me as we walked toward the stairs the following morning.
This was the second time she’d asked, and both times she posed the question, I had been surprised. “I’m fine.”
Orphine said nothing to my response, but doubt settled into her features. She didn’t believe me.
I was tired and not in the greatest mood. I’d barely slept the night before, and I wasn’t sure if that had to do with being unconscious for three days or my conversation with Nyktos.
Or how I kept looking at the adjoining door, wondering why Nyktos suddenly no longer believed he needed to keep me within arm’s reach.
And hating myself a little for even wondering that.
But I was fine.
Empty. Blank.
Which was perfect. I had plans. Something I’d decided in the midst of my marathon pacing session during the night. I needed to discuss traveling to Irelone, and I would do so with the utmost maturity and detachment.
If I could handle my mother, I could handle Nyktos.
The embers in my chest vibrated as we reached the first-floor hall, but I hesitated in the shadowy alcove. The doors were ajar. Before, I wouldn’t have thought twice about walking straight in. Aware that Orphine was watching me, I raised a hand to knock. Something Bele had said intruded in that moment. If Nyktos didn’t want people to talk, then he would make sure no one found anything to discuss, right? But I really—