Total pages in book: 29
Estimated words: 27597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 138(@200wpm)___ 110(@250wpm)___ 92(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 27597 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 138(@200wpm)___ 110(@250wpm)___ 92(@300wpm)
She thinks about it. “Maybe…not yet.”
Sexual frustration strangles me with its bare hands, but I don’t allow myself to show it. “Very well. I’ll make my determination from here.”
“Okay,” she whispers.
Thank God for my clipboard, because it’s hiding the rigid column of my cock. The wet spot I’m sure is spreading at the top of my zipper. “Does your skin feel sensitive, Ashley?”
“Yes.”
I make a note. “Are your breasts heavy?”
She sucks in a breath and nods.
“What about your little nipples?” My voice is a bare scrape of sound. “Are they hard and puckered?”
“Yes,” she complains, nearly killing me by rubbing the heel of her hand against the stiff peaks, gasping at the friction. “They hurt.”
A bead of sweat rolls down my spine. “Last question.” I dig the tip of my pen into my thigh to the point of pain. “Are you wet between your legs?”
She closes her eyes, a blush painting her cheeks. “For hours.”
It’s everything I can do not to drop the clipboard and unzip my pants. Beat myself blind and come on the carpet at her feet. “It is my professional opinion that you’re aroused, Ashley,” I manage, winded.
Her lips form a moist oval, fingers clawing the edge of the leather couch cushion. “What should I do about it? Is there a way to make the ache go away?”
“Yes,” I grit out. I’ve never been so keyed up in my life. Desperate for her and her alone. But I won’t violate her wishes. Or her will. I’m going to be the one man who doesn’t do that to her, even if it kills me—and it very well might. “You’ve never had an orgasm?”
“N-no?”
Jesus. It’s no wonder she’s so horny. Twenty years old and never had relief. She’s been stifling her natural impulses. Or they’ve been stifling themselves, because she’s never felt safe enough to explore them. Never seen her sexuality as anything but a negative. An obstacle. Now that she’s been given some space to think and feel, her libido is probably busting out of its cage.
“Take off your panties, angel. I’ll guide you through it.”
CHAPTER 6
Ashley
What is happening to me?
I’m overcome by such a mixture of emotions. Gratitude and desperation.
Hope.
Need.
What do I need, though?
When I look at Caleb, when he speaks to me in that deep therapist voice, my blood seems to cook itself, every hair follicle on my body standing at attention. There are muscles and tendons south of my belly button I’ve never encountered and suddenly they are tighter than piano wire, stretching and making me crazy. I can’t think straight with this urgency plaguing my body. An urgency I don’t understand.
I want to focus on the session with Caleb. It represents progress—and I never expected to see emotional, tangible progress again in my life. I want to talk to him and untangle the web of trauma inside me, lay it at his feet, but until this heat ceases to inhabit my bones, I can barely remember my own name, let alone articulate the pain inside of me.
“Take off your panties, angel.” Across from me in his throne, the sudden and unexpected savior of my universe yanks on his collar, sweat beginning to glimmer at his hairline. “I’ll guide you through it.”
The fact that he isn’t advancing on me with bad intentions only amplifies the feeling of safety, and safety is breeding inhibition. He’s really going to stay over there. All because I said I wasn’t ready to be touched. He meant what he said.
He’s not a liar.
He’s authentic. And lord, he is the first man I’ve ever found gorgeous. The more I look at him, the more qualities I find to be fascinated with. His laugh lines. The thickness of his neck. His watchful eyes. The leashed intensity of it all.
Am I really going to take off my underwear in front of him?
For once, my body is urging me to do something other than hide. When will I ever get the chance to feel this way again?
With a deep breath, I hook my thumbs in the side waistband of my shorts and peel them down, along with my boy short underwear, over my hips and down my thighs, dropping the garments to the floor and toeing them to the side. His gaze blazes over my sex, darkening, and he makes a sound, his nostrils flaring, a closed fist pressing to his mouth. Positive reactions to what I’ve just revealed to him. Lustful, even, yes. But he’s in control of himself. He’s respecting me enough to keep his distance.
That’s what makes all the difference to me.
The warm leather feels strange against my bare bottom when I sit back down, but it’s not unpleasant. It’s…exciting. It’s exciting and reassuring to watch him wrestle with the bonds of self-control and win. Even if he barely claims victory.
“Okay, Ashley,” Caleb says, hoarse. “Start by petting your thighs with a light touch. Just the tips of your fingers, knee to hip. Inner and outer thighs. Close your eyes while you do it and acknowledge the sensation this creates throughout your body. Describe it to me.”