Total pages in book: 143
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 130275 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 651(@200wpm)___ 521(@250wpm)___ 434(@300wpm)
It took seven steps for me to meet the edge of the rink. I placed my skate on the ice. I closed my eyes and, on the count of five, pushed forward. The minute the cold breeze ran through my hair, everything seemed to slot into place.
I opened my eyes and stopped in the center of the rink. Bending down, I placed my palm on the ice like I had done several days before. Only this time, I didn’t let that feeling crush me. I didn’t think of Cill. I just stayed in the moment, stayed in the euphoria of being back in a rink, cold seeping into my bones.
I skated to the edge of the rink, viewing the entire ice before me. And just like I had done so many thousands of times before, I pushed off and raced down the ice at such a fast speed, the bitterness of the breeze bit at the tips of my ears. My cheeks began to ache as I flew, lap after lap, circling the rink with a familiar ease. My cheeks ached again, and my footing almost faltered when I realized it was because I was smiling.
My hands clenched and I yearned for a hockey stick to hold, a puck to hit, and a net to aim for. But this … just this was enough for now. This and the happiness filling my heart as I kept gaining speed, so fast it felt like I was flying.
Then I heard a laugh—a proud and emotion-filled laugh. I came to a sharp stop, spraying the ice into the boards, only to find Savannah on the other side, bundled up in her coat, hat, and gloves, eyes shining with … pride.
“Cael, you … you …” she said but ran out of words. She didn’t have to say a thing. I could feel how proud she was of me even from here.
It was an unusual feeling when I realized I was proud of myself too. And that this moment wasn’t tied up in me and Cillian. This joy of skating, of hockey, belonged solely to me. I did love this feeling.
I did love this game.
Pointing to the skate hut at the side of the rink, I said, “Suit up, Peaches.” I thought Savannah would say no. I thought she would insist she stay on firm ground. But she didn’t do any of that. Instead, she got the skates with confidence and in minutes had them on her feet.
She was wobbly as she stood and approached the ice. I met her at the entrance and held out my hand. Savannah didn’t second-guess herself. She didn’t second-guess me. She just took my hand, one hundred percent trust, and let me take her into my arms. I made sure she stayed upright and guided her slowly around the rink. The look of happiness on Savannah’s face melted me.
We were alone on the rink. The others were watching a movie in the hotel, resting before we left Norway tomorrow. We were only back in Oslo for one night to catch an early-morning flight. We were in the same hotel as before. Leo and Mia had given me permission to come out here. It wouldn’t surprise me if they were watching us now. But I didn’t care. I needed to be here. They understood that too.
It didn’t surprise me that Savannah had found me. She had been talking to her parents and sister in her room when I saw the rink was empty and decided to come outside.
I couldn’t believe she was on the ice with me now.
Stopping us in the center of the rink, I took a deep breath then brought my lips to hers. And I kissed her. I kissed Savannah with all the newfound joy I’d found on the ice. I kissed her in thanks for helping me get back here, for never pushing me but supporting me to find this missing part of me again.
“You looked amazing out here,” she said and just about destroyed me.
“You ready?” I asked and began pulling her slowly, both of her hands holding mine like a vice.
“Lead the way,” she said, and I let myself have it. Let myself have this one moment of pure freedom, of a life unburdened from grief. I let my soul claim its passion back. And I let it all happen with the southern girl in my arms who was changing my life for the better, day by day, hour by hour, country by new country.
And we skated. We skated under the stars that Savannah believed her sister now lived among. A flicker of peace settled within my heart when I let myself imagine that Cillian was up there shining brightly too.
Finally free.
Golden Sands and Deep Sorrows
Cael
Goa, India
THE CONTRAST BETWEEN NORWAY AND INDIA WAS MIND-BLOWING. FROM the second we stepped off the plane, we were swallowed by sticky humidity and soaring heat. Sweat dripped from my temples as we got off the bus and headed to where we were staying in Goa.