Total pages in book: 129
Estimated words: 118699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 593(@200wpm)___ 475(@250wpm)___ 396(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 118699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 593(@200wpm)___ 475(@250wpm)___ 396(@300wpm)
His entire world threatened to burn to ash.
When she pushed at him, he shifted away, releasing her to get up and pull on her clothing and boots. He put himself to rights, too, taking the time to find his footing, ready himself for the battle to come.
Because he was not ready to just let her walk away.
The whirlwinds vanished as she took a seat beside him, their wings overlapping once more as they stared out at the ocean of darkest blue-gray. “I see that ridiculously young pup, Raphael,” she said, “and I see what he has with his consort, and I’m a bitter and jealous old woman.” A scowl. “If you ever repeat that, I’ll scalp you.”
She spoke on before he could respond. “I don’t begrudge them their joy. Rather, I wonder why we could never have that when we had so much love.”
Alexander took a breath again because at least she was willing to talk about it. The air was blades stabbing into him. “Too proud, both of us. Callie said that to me. Neither one willing to bow to the other.”
“Pride mattered naught when I was dying.” Zanaya’s voice was a strain, her arms wrapped around her knees and the opals in Firelight dull.
“No,” Alexander said, his chest so tight he could barely breathe. “I carried you to your place of Sleep and all I could think was that it was over, that I didn’t have any more chances. The terror and pain with which I’ve lived since . . . I would’ve gone into Sleep forever if I didn’t have a grandson to guide on in his path in life.”
Zanaya took his hand, twining their fingers together in the way they’d done forever. “I’m glad for your grandson.” Her voice was husky. “To have woken without you in the world—” She squeezed his hand. “I’ll never apologize for going to Sleep. I needed to Sleep to recover from my eons of life, to ensure I didn’t go mad like so many of our brethren . . . but I’m sorry I left you alone, Alexander.”
Neither one of you ready to bow to the other.
Alexander fought past thousands of years of being, of personality, to say, “And I’m sorry I put you in that position. I should’ve listened to you.” If he had, she might’ve agreed that the two of them could, together, go into a shorter Sleep. But he’d refused to even listen, and he’d lost her for endless millennia.
A jerky laugh. “Look at us, being so mature.” Sighing, she put her head on his shoulder, as around them, the seabirds went about their business without a care, having clearly decided that Zanaya and Alexander were simply two extra-large birds.
“I can’t do it again, Zani,” Alexander confessed, slicing right to the agonizing core. “I can’t lose you. Not for a few weeks, much less any longer. I’ve lost too much, am too old and scarred. I want an absolute and unassailable us.”
Zanaya felt no shock at his words. She’d known exactly what he was about to say—because she’d been about to say the same. “It’s always been you, Alexander. Never anyone else.”
“Consorts then.”
That did make her jolt, stare at him. “We’re archangels,” she said, her voice lined with grit. “If we become consorts, we’ll no longer have a choice as to what we do when the war drums roll. We’ll have to pick the same side.” Because the enemy would treat one the same as the other.
Eyes of liquid silver locked with hers. “Yes,” he said. “We can argue as much as we want behind closed doors—but to the world, we present a united front.”
Zanaya had spent her entire lifetime fighting to be her own person. She was too old now not to see why—Rzia’s efforts to mold her had turned into a kind of emotional prison that Zanaya had been running from her whole life. Even now, her heart stuttered at the idea of being bound so inextricably to this man who’d battle her tooth and nail when they disagreed.
Yet . . . hadn’t she held her own with him since before her ascension? “I refuse to be frozen in amber,” she murmured, mostly to herself. “Rzia lies long in my past. I’m no longer the child she attempted to shape with bitter vengefulness.”
Alexander understood as only a rare few people in her life would. “As I’m no longer the powerless boy who can be crushed under the boots of others.” Even the memory was faded now, hidden by the weight of a reign that had spanned thousands upon thousands of years. “I don’t need to cling to power with every ounce of my being.”
Zanaya shifted so that they were face-to-face, her expression fierce. “Consorts don’t break, come what may. It’s a bond to the death.”
“I died when you fell, Zani. I have a promise to keep to my son, but it’s the only thread holding me to this world should you not be in it. And that thread will break as Xander settles into adulthood.” He clasped the back of her neck, beneath the softness of her hair. “I won’t be in the world once it does unless you walk beside me. It hurt me to even breathe these past ten years. I’m yours.”