Total pages in book: 96
Estimated words: 90337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 361(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90337 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 452(@200wpm)___ 361(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
How do I explain this without actually explaining it and betraying Hunter’s trust even further? That’s probably something I should have thought through before I placed this call.
“What’s up?” Maya asks, concern creeping into her tone. “You sound funny.”
“I feel funny,” I admit, pulling in a deeper breath. “I’ve done something, Maya. Something crazy that was actually turning out to be pretty great—really great, actually, maybe the greatest thing ever—but then I made a mistake. I think I did, anyway, and I need advice. But it’s complicated, and I can’t tell you everything.”
She makes a soft, considering sound. “Okay, this sounds serious. You know I’m always here to listen, but first, you have to tell me if you’re all right. Do you need me to come back to the city? We’re still in Canada on our seashore trip, but I can be home by later tonight if you need me. We’re only an hour from the airport where we left the plane.”
I shake my head as I pace back and forth across the patio, sweat breaking out between my shoulder blades in the heat. “No, I don’t want to spoil your fun. You don’t have to come home. I just… I need you to tell me if I fucked up. And if I did, maybe help me figure out what to do about it? But, like I said, it’s complicated. I promised I wouldn’t share some things, and that promise is going to make it hard to give you all the backstory on what exactly is going on.”
“Okay,” Maya says. “Just start at the beginning, and share as much as you can.”
I pace faster, a fretful sound escaping from low in my throat. “I can’t. The beginning is the most secret part.”
“Okay, then keep it theoretical,” she says, proving she’s the wisest and the best.
“Right. Theoretical. That’s smart.” I sink onto one of planter walls surrounding the flower beds, the heat of the brick seeping through my dress. “Okay, so…say you knew something important about a close friend’s family member. Something related to their health, that the family member specifically asked you not to share with your close friend. And so, you didn’t share it…but then something bad happened to the family member as a direct result of this thing you weren’t supposed to share, and your close friend has no idea that you knew about the thing. So, now you feel terrible. Because maybe you should have shared the thing? Maybe your responsibility to be a good friend should have come before your responsibility not to break a promise? What do you think?”
“Is my mom okay?” Maya asked, clearly worried. “She said her ultrasound came back clear, but she’s never had to get an ultrasound after her mammogram before. I’ve been so worried. And I know she was worried about me being worried, because of the pregnancy and all. But I would rather know she’s in trouble than flit around Canada eating saltwater taffy and making out on the beach with my sexy husband while she navigates a breast cancer diagnosis alone. Or with just Dad and Mallory. They’ll be a wreck. You know how they are. They both get way too emotional in a crisis. Mom is going to need someone with a steady—”
“No, she’s fine. I promise, Maya. This isn’t about you.” I exhale, feeling shittier with every passing moment. “But you just gave me my answer. I fucked up. I should have told the close friend the thing.”
“Now wait just a second,” Maya says. “I didn’t say that. I don’t know all the nuances of this particular situation. I mean, the person you were keeping the secret from could be more like my sister. With Mallory, it would be better to keep the secret. At least for a while. She gets so upset, she can barely function, and she has to keep functioning. She has a child who needs her and a demanding new job she can’t afford to lose if she wants to keep paying her mortgage. In that kind of situation, I could see the wisdom in…sheltering someone a little.”
I watch a pigeon peck at a chunk of discarded sandwich near my feet, my stomach continuing to sink. “Yeah, but this friend isn’t like Mallory. This friend is fully capable of handling the truth. And he’s the type of person who isn’t going to be happy that he was left out of the loop. He might actually want to strangle me or just…never see me again. Which would be worse than the strangling because he’s really important to me, and I don’t want to imagine my life without him in it.”
“Oh, honey.” Maya sighs. “You’re in love again, huh? Someone you met in the city?”
I fight to swallow past the iron grip guilt has on my throat. “Yeah. But it’s different this time. I’m pretty sure it’s the real thing, the thing I was starting to think I might never find. But I did, Maya, and now I’ve fucked it up forever.” The pigeon hops closer, braver now that it’s seen my tears. It knows I’m weak and too distracted by my own misery to go after a piece of its sandwich. “If I tell him about the secret, he’ll hate me. And if I don’t tell him, my guilt will eat me alive and ruin everything anyway.”