Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
This or that. No big deal. It’s just a life. We probably have many lives. No need to pretend that anything is truly the end of the world.
Internally, I laugh at my thought process. Suzie has imparted her way of thinking upon me. It will come in handy in the coming weeks and months—probably for the rest of my life. We are bonded by optimism, and I don’t believe this life is the end of our friendship because it never felt like the beginning. Our souls have met before.
“Many people will struggle with this.” I chuckle to ward off any more watery emotions.
“Maybe. But Zach will try to fade into a dismal level of nothingness. I just feel it. So I need you not to let that happen.”
Another painful laugh. “And how will I do that?”
“I don’t know. You’ll figure it out. You’re smart.”
“You did catch the part where my intelligence didn’t manage to keep me from living out of my car, right?”
“Just tell me you’ll stay here until life takes you in a new and exciting direction. Promise me you’ll stay until you find something truly better.”
“That’s a lot of pressure. What if I don’t find anything better?”
“Then Zach will never be lonely, and that’s a perfectly acceptable outcome as well.”
I stiffen.
“Don’t.” She rests her head on my shoulder while giving my hand a little squeeze. “I see the way you look at him, and the way he looks at you.”
“Suzie …” My head shakes and my voice does too. “I don’t—”
“You do. You look at him like I looked at him even when I was with Tara. It wasn’t love, of course. It was joy—an honor to be friends with such a kind man. Sometimes we start to fall in love with people before our hearts recognize what’s happening.”
I’m not in love with Zach. My heart is too fond of Suzie, my friend, the sister I never had. Suzie has hit the point where her mind isn’t working right.
“Well … I … I can tell you Zach doesn’t look at me like anything more than the woman who should be cleaning his house instead of watching reality TV with his wife.”
“He doesn’t see it now. And for the record, he adores you. I think he sees a younger version of me in you. Your spirit. Your kindness.”
“Suzie …” I’m not sure I’ve ever felt this uncomfortable. This is a terrible conversation.
“Shh …” She lifts her head from my shoulder. “I’m not saying anything will come from it. I’m just saying it’s okay if something does happen.”
Nothing will happen.
Zach will always be Suzie’s husband to me. Friends don’t fall in love with friends’ husbands. I’m fairly certain that’s written in stone somewhere.
“Now …” She releases my hand and presses hers together at her chest like something exciting is about to happen. “Aside from my new best friend moving in with me, tell me something that will … I don’t know … make me laugh.”
I’ve got nothing.
Except …
I have a slightly morbid sense of humor, of which I’m certain is a direct result of her bad influence on me.
“Please don’t tell your husband that you want the maid to fall in love with him after you’re buried six feet under.”
Suzie’s jaw drops and her eyes widen as her hand flies to her mouth. A second later, she snorts a laugh that breaks completely free in the next breath.
I giggle.
Then we fall inward, collapsing into each other in a fit of laughter like two young girls talking about a mutual crush on a boy in school.
“I won’t.” She laughs. “It will be our little secret.”
“What’s your little secret?”
We jump, swallowing our last giggles and holding our breaths as Zach steps into the bedroom.
“If we tell you, it won’t be a secret,” Suzie says.
I climb off the bed without making eye contact with Zach because I can’t. Not yet. Not when Suzie thinks I look at him a certain way.
“I’m …” I nod toward the door and squeeze past Zach. “I’m going to give you some privacy. Thanks for … everything. Really.”
“It’s our pleasure,” Suzie says.
I’m not sure taking in a homeless person is a pleasure, but it’s kind of her—of them—to be so generous.
After organizing my things in the spare bedroom, I sneak out to the kitchen, not expecting to find Zach at the stove cooking something in a big pot.
“Hey.”
He turns and smiles. “Hey. I’m making pasta for Suzie. She thinks plain pasta sounds good. Do you like pasta?”
“Oh …” I shake my head. “You don’t need to cook for me. Really, the room is enough. I might pick up a few groceries, but nothing that will take up much space in the fridge. I promise.”
“So … is that a yes or no to liking pasta? If she eats more than three bites, I’ll be shocked. That leaves a pound of pasta minus three bites and a full jar of sauce. I work for the next three days which means it will get tossed into the trash. So … yes or no to liking pasta?”