Total pages in book: 110
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Emersyn had too much wine.
She said some crazy shit.
I was tired.
She was confused.
Period.
It doesn’t have to be awkward. Maybe I requested this flight because being close to Emersyn makes me feel close to Suzanne. But I don’t think that’s it. I took this flight for the same reason Suzanne couldn’t get enough of Emersyn—she doesn’t look at me like a guy who lost his wife.
Emersyn didn’t look at Suzanne like a woman dying from cancer.
I didn’t fully understand the importance of that feeling until now.
So … have I flown to the other side of the earth to feel alive again? It’s looking like the most honest explanation.
After I get out of the shower, there’s a text from Emersyn.
I can’t make it to brunch. Leah has a tour scheduled. Happy birthday. Safe flight home.
Reading it three times, I grapple with the disappointment I feel. We didn’t say goodbye. With my next breath, I call her.
“Hi!” She answers as if she’s excited, maybe even a little surprised to hear from me.
“Hey. Last minute tour?” I ask.
“Yeah. I’m so sorry. Leah is too.”
“What time will you be done? We didn’t get to say goodbye.”
There’s a long pause.
“Em?”
She clears her throat. “Unfortunately, not until later. And Leah and I have plans tonight. She’s fixing me up with a friend of a friend. A date. That’s good. Right?”
Another pause holds the line for several seconds.
“Sure. That’s good. Be careful. Be smart.”
“Yup,” she says with a clipped voice.
“Em?”
“Hmm?”
“Are you happy?”
Her silence feels more honest than her next words. “Yes, Zach. I’m happy. I’ve never been happier in my life.”
“I’m glad. I needed to hear that. Let me know when you decide where you’re going next. Maybe we can meet up again.”
“Sure.”
“Bye, Em.”
“Bye,” she whispers.
I stare at my phone screen for several seconds before tossing it aside and pulling on a T-shirt. Plunking onto the edge of the bed, my head drops and my eyes close on a deep exhale. Marrying Emersyn wasn’t supposed to be anything more than the gift of insurance and cheap flights.
Doing the right thing for the right reason.
Yet here I am … sulking in a hotel room in Australia because I have a wife who is not Suzanne. A wife whose happiness is not my responsibility.
I really, really need to stop thinking the word “wife” when thinking about Emersyn.
Different kind of wife.
Different emotions.
Different mentality.
Emersyn
Standing in the corner of the hostel lobby, sharing space with a tropical plant, I stare at my phone screen. Zach sounded overly concerned or something. God. I hate this. It’s too late. I don’t need a father. And he’s not my husband, even if the state of Georgia thinks otherwise. Zach needs me to be happy. I hear it in his voice—a tightness, a hint of agony. Suzie asked me to watch out for him.
So that’s what I’m doing.
He gave me a chance at a new life. I’ll give him peace of mind in return.
It’s not a lie, not completely. I am happy, but it also proves just how shitty my life has been for this agonizing time in said life to be the happiest I’ve ever been.
“Back before brunch?” Wearing a green facial mask, Leah glances up from her computer.
“It’s not until ten. And I need to shower. But I’m not going to brunch.”
“Why not? What happened? I mean … you spent the night with him. That’s good, right?”
“If by spent the night, you mean I drank too much wine from the minibar, said too much, pressed my lips to his in what was either not a real kiss or the worst kiss ever, before basically passing out from exhaustion and too much wine … then yes. I spent the night with him. Was it good? No. It was awkward. And this morning, he completely dismissed it. Blamed the kiss, or whatever it was, on the wine and called it a meaningless mistake. But he ‘forgives’ me, so all is good.”
I grab my toiletries and open the door to go shower. “I can’t see him again. Maybe in another three months … or three years. But the good news?” Glancing over my shoulder, I grin. “I agree with you … I need dick that doesn’t involve my dead best friend’s husband. I need dick that has no strings attached. I need …”
“Australian dick.” Leah smirks.
I nod. “Yes. Australian dick. I’m thinking something rugged and confident, but not too clingy. Professional … but free. I’m not paying for dick.”
Leah giggles as I head to the shower. Sadly, no amount of water can wash off the embarrassment and overall cringe-worthiness of my actions last night—early this morning … whatever.
I took it up the backside once for a shower. What’s a one-night stand to take my mind off Zach in comparison to that? I can do meaningless. Maybe I need to do way more meaninglessness after such a heavy experience with Suzie and Zach.