Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 82132 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82132 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Jay.
“Hey,” he says carefully.
“What are you doing here?”
I steel myself against his smile, leaning into how uncertain it is instead of how handsome he looks first thing in the morning. I don’t flinch and barely blink. I’m not sure what to make of this.
“Can I come in?” he asks.
“I’d rather you didn’t.”
He runs a hand through his hair. “I committed the biggest mistake I’ve ever made and walked away from you.”
What? My hand slides down the side of the door until it falls limp at my side.
“I’ve barely been able to breathe, Gabrielle. I’ve avoided being home so I didn’t have to watch you living without me. Not a second has passed that I haven’t thought of you and your boys and wished that I was welcome here with everything in me.”
I force a swallow. My head spins, unsure what to make of this. I want to jump in his arms, have him wrap me up against him, and breathe in his cologne. I want what I thought we had.
But if I do that, if I give in without knowing why he’s suddenly pivoting back to me, it will be a mistake. I hate that it’s true. It’s just too bad that I’m wise enough to know that unless he’s truly had an epiphany and isn’t acting out of loneliness, this will all play out again.
That’s not an option.
There can’t be Band-Aids when it comes to my family. Either he gets it, or he doesn’t. He’s in, or he’s out. And that’s his choice to make.
“Believe it or not, my reaction was based out of fear . . . but also out of wanting what’s best for you and your boys,” he says.
My sight blurs and I will myself not to cry. Stay strong, Gabby. Get through this.
“Dylan came by last night,” he says.
“What? Dylan came by your house? When?”
“It was late.”
I groan. What did Dylan do now?
“We had a long talk,” Jay says, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Well, as long as a teenage boy is willing to talk.”
I smile at that.
“And when he left, we had cleared the air and come to an understanding.” He chuckles. “He didn’t mean to, but he made me think a lot last night.”
“I’m sorry. I had no idea he left the house, which probably makes me a bad mother. But I’ll talk to him. I’ll tell him not to bother you.”
“You see, I hope that’s impossible.”
I balk. “Excuse me?”
He runs a hand down his jaw, his eyes searching mine. I have no idea what’s happening, what they talked about, or why Dylan felt it necessary to talk to Jay without talking to me first. Especially considering his outburst sparked this fallout. I also don’t know why Jay is here, and that’s eating a hole in my gut.
“Jay, I’m sorry for—”
“Stop.”
“Stop what?” His tone slices through me. “Did you come over here wanting a fight? Because I’ll give you a fight.”
He smirks, and I see red.
“Let me tell you something,” I say, poking his chest. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to leave me and break my fucking heart.” My voice cracks, but I keep going. “Then come over here and stand on my porch and tell me my son was bothering you, and it made you think, and now you want to . . . I don’t know what you want. But I want you to leave just like you did before.”
Tears gather in my eyes, and it takes everything I have not to break out into a sob.
“Gabrielle, please. Let me finish.”
“You already finished us. You walked away. You told me it can never happen between us. I didn’t do that. You did.”
Tears trickle down my face despite my anger. Crying in front of him only makes me madder. It’s just new material for me to obsess over tonight when I go to bed, and God knows I don’t need more things to ponder.
“Please leave, Jay,” I say, looking at his handsome face for the last time. “And don’t come back.”
He doesn’t move. Not a single muscle in his body twitches. He stands in place and looks at me like he’s trying to decide what to make of this situation.
“I have to go,” I say, turning to the house. “I have outlets to change.”
“That’s electrical.”
I smile, knowing he can’t see it. “So it is.”
“Damn it, Gabrielle.”
He steps in front of me, blocking the doorway.
I commit every line in his face to memory. The way the corners of his eyes crinkle in the morning light. How his lips are shaped, and how his brows pull together when he’s thinking.
Just as I finish my inspection, my vision clouds over again. I don’t try to hide it from him. Why bother? Let him remember that he broke my heart.
“Gabrielle,” he says, his voice clear and warm. “I’m sorry for hurting you. I let another woman’s actions affect my relationship with you, and that’s wrong. There’s really no excuse.”