Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 49330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 247(@200wpm)___ 197(@250wpm)___ 164(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 49330 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 247(@200wpm)___ 197(@250wpm)___ 164(@300wpm)
"I'm so sorry," I whispered. "That sounds awful."
Christian shrugged. "It's in the past, but it has given me trust issues. I look at everyone twice and question their motives. I promised myself that I would never leave myself that vulnerable again in a relationship. I couldn’t even trust my own brother. I gave him his start in life, I bought him his house, and he betrayed me. I can never forgive him."
My heart ached for him. I could hear the emotion he tried so hard to restrain, but the way his heart sped up underneath my ear showed he wasn't doing too well on that front. I wanted to take all of that pain away from him, but I knew Christian had to move past those things himself. I couldn't swoop in and save him. That's not how it worked.
I glanced up at him. "Do you think you're capable of love one day?"
Christian seemed to contemplate my words, but something on his face sent a sharp pain to my stomach. I could see the answer in his eyes before he even said a word.
Slowly, he shook his head. "No," he stated quietly. "I don't think I'll ever love again."
Just like that, the sharp twinge became a stabbing pain. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe. Why was I doing this? Natalie was right. I’d been setting myself up for a big fall. I'd known from the beginning that it wouldn't be more, but hearing him say he could never love me still rocked me to my core.
I nodded slowly, the only acknowledgment that I could give because if I opened my mouth, I knew I'd cry. Then I slipped out of bed and back into my clothes. The whole time I felt his eyes on me and felt the words on his lips that he never said until I put my hand on the doorknob.
"Hannah. Are we okay? I mean, we said what this was from the beginning, right?"
I glanced back at him.
Our post sex glow still clung to his body, as he looked warm and gorgeous wrapped up in his sheets.
Usually, I stayed until the very minute before I started falling asleep, but if I had to stare at that pillow tossed hair and those lips slightly puffy from kissing me I was going to lose it. "Yeah, we're okay," I answered without knowing if we really were. "I'm about to pass out though, so I'm going to bed."
"Is that the truth?" he prodded as I tried to slip away.
I wanted to tell him that hell no… that wasn't the truth. Before I'd moved in, I knew I'd fall for him, and it looked as if I'd done just that. I adored Christian. I wanted to be more than his before bedtime snack for the rest of my time in his employment. But I didn’t say it. I knew it would only make him turn tail and run.
I just smiled sadly. "Of course. Don't forget to text me from work tomorrow to let me know what you'd like for dinner. Annie and I are cooking. Night, night."
Christian nodded. "Goodnight, Hannah."
I couldn't get out of the room fast enough. My feet carried me into my bedroom and I collapsed on my bed in a heap. My chest ached, my eyes burned, and I buried my face in my pillow to muffle the groan that echoed from my throat.
Natalie's words played on a loop in my brain.
How could I be so naive? There was no way I would ever be anything more to Christian than a good lay. Seriously, had I lost my mind? I curled up, yanked my blanket over my body as I squeezed my eyes tightly shut and forced myself to go to sleep.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Hannah
I spent the entire next day questioning everything.
Christian's words replayed for me, the finality in his voice like a hammer driving it all home. I couldn't concentrate all day, half-heartedly coloring and playing with Annie until it was time for dinner. When Christian came in, I avoided his eyes and went on as if everything was normal. What choice did I have?
"How was your day?" Christian asked.
"Good. We made pictures and took out the dolls again. There was talk of the pool, but in the end, I don't think either of us was up to that. Annie's washing up for dinner."
Christian loosened his tie. "Maybe I should do the same. I'm ready to get out of this suit."
"Go ahead, you have some time. I'm finishing everything up now."
It was quiet for a second before Christian sighed. "Hannah, did I upset you last night?"
I glanced up at him and saw the anxiety on his face. I immediately felt sad for him. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was honest from day one. It was me who was stupid enough to enter into this deal without thinking it through. I smiled tightly. "No, not at all. I'm fine. It's been a long day. After dinner, I'll be turning in early so you'll have to do Annie's stories."