Total pages in book: 362
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 347293 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1736(@200wpm)___ 1389(@250wpm)___ 1158(@300wpm)
“Don’t speak of dying,” Ash said, whipping toward me. His eyes were wide and full of pure, wild eather. “Don’t.”
“Then don’t make me fear that,” I whispered. He started to turn from me, but I caught him before he could, curling my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. “Please.”
A shudder went through Ash as he stepped into me, folding an arm around my waist. “Do you have any idea how hard this will be for me?” He pulled me to his chest. “When every instinct in me demands that I do everything possible to keep you safe?” He curled his other arm around my shoulders. “But I know you know how it feels. The only difference is that you are willing to face it head-on, and I’m trying to do everything to prevent it.”
I held him even tighter than he embraced me. “I think we just show our love in different ways.”
A rough chuckle stirred the hair on the top of my head. A moment passed. “Exactly how mad would you be if I locked you in this chamber?”
“I’m not even going to take that question seriously.” I rubbed my nose and cheek against his chest. “We just need to be careful.”
“You need to be careful, liessa,” he corrected. “For both of us to do what needs to be done, it’s going to be just as hard on you as it is on me. I have to allow you to fight, and you’ll need to allow me to put myself in front of you. You’re going to have to pull back and not rush into battles.”
“I never rush into battles.”
“Sera.”
“What?”
“You’re a terrible liar and that has not changed.”
I pressed my forehead to his chest. “Whatever.”
“I will do everything not to hold you back, but you also have to meet me halfway on this. It is the one time I will ask you to be less brave.” His fingers delved into the hair above my braid. “And I can already feel how much you hate that.”
I closed my eyes. He was right. I did hate the truth of what he said.
He tilted my head back so our eyes met. “But if we’re both going to do this, you need to promise me you won’t take any chances.”
“I promise.”
“I wasn’t finished.”
I frowned.
His lips quirked. “And you also have to promise me you will step out the first moment you’re even remotely injured. Get to safety.”
I opened my mouth.
“You’re not just doing that for me. You’re doing it for our children,” he said, the eather retreating from his pupils. “But you also need to promise me one more thing.”
“There’s more?”
He ignored that. “You have to promise me you won’t hold back when it comes to fighting Kolis—fighting anyone.”
I frowned. “Didn’t you just tell me to hold back?”
“That’s not what I’m talking about,” he said. “I asked you not to rush into battles. What we are talking about now is not holding back when there is a battle.”
Getting what he meant, I nodded. “Holding back in battle has never been a real concern.”
“Before? I would agree. But after what happened in Lasania…” His hand curved over my shoulder as I moved to step back. “You made me swear to you I would put you in the ground if you lost control.”
My stomach hollowed. “That hasn’t changed.”
“I didn’t say it had.” His chest rose deeply. “You need to promise me that your fear of losing control will not stop you from using everything you have in you. That it won’t stop you from being a little monstrous.”
My lips parted as I stared up at him. All at once, I understood his concern and why he’d asked this.
“Do you trust me?” he inquired.
“Of course.” Surprise swept through me.
“Then trust that I will always be by your side to pull you back from the brink,” he said. “Okay?”
I nodded.
“Do we have a deal? One you agree to and won’t secretly be angry about.”
“Are you not going to be secretly angry about it?”
“Eventually,” he muttered, brushing his lips over my forehead.
I exhaled heavily. “I agree as long as we both make another promise.”
“I am forever wary of making you promises now,” he said.
“This isn’t a hard one,” I assured him. “We promise that our children will grow with both of us by their sides. That we absolutely refuse to allow them to experience what we have.”
The eather in Ash’s eyes turned luminous. “I swear to you, meyaah Liessa. They will have two loving, living parents, and nothing—absolutely fucking nothing—will prevent us from ensuring that.”
I believed him.
But my mind flashed to his promise to always be there to pull me back from the brink of disaster. I buried my face against his chest, breathing him in. A tiny part of me feared a time would come when not even he could stop me. My hand went to my lower stomach as I focused on my breathing. If they were ever threatened or harmed? Ash wouldn’t be able to stop me.