Total pages in book: 81
Estimated words: 77066 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77066 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 385(@200wpm)___ 308(@250wpm)___ 257(@300wpm)
“I stayed home. How’s Mom?”
“The same.” He sighs. “She got a raise at work, but it doesn’t cover the increase rent.”
“I can give you money.”
He shakes his head. “Last time she caught me with money, she accused me of selling drugs. I was grounded for a month.”
“She won’t let me pay for anything. Everything I’ve sent gets returned,” I mutter, wanting to help my mother. She’s too smart to believe she won a month of free electricity or she landed some windfall from a newly deceased distant relative. I’ve fucking tried everything to help her out.
“She hasn’t said anything about your tuition?”
He shakes his head. “No, the lady she has the contact with at school is a great liar.”
Only because I paid her extra. My brother’s private school tuition and uniform allowance are the only things my mother hasn’t refused. Some days, I wonder if she knows about it but refuses to acknowledge it’s me because she cares enough for Connor that she won’t take the opportunity away from him.
She already has one son she sees as a criminal. It would kill her to have two. With the neighborhood they live in, private school and a different group of friends may be the only thing saving him from that.
“Making good grades?”
“Passing everything,” he answers, dodging the real question.
“Better than me.” I always found school hard, not the work but the focus and perseverance.
It’s hard to concentrate on math when you didn’t get much sleep the night before because your stepdad was yelling because Mom didn’t hand dry the dishes and put them away after washing them.
“She doesn’t know I know but Dad is in jail. His newest wife didn’t like getting hit.”
“Fuck,” I grunt.
The bastard is right where he deserves to be, but the man always paid his child support on time. I know they depended on that money.
“I can get a job,” Connor says hopefully.
“No one is going to hire a thirteen-year-old.”
“Old man Myers said I could help out around the shop.”
I glance at him, trying to see how he actually feels about the guy. “The lawn mower repair shop?”
He nods. “Won’t pay much, but any little amount will help.”
“I wish she wasn’t so stubborn,” I growl, trying to resist going inside and telling her to just take the fucking money I offer.
Last time I confronted her was years ago. She said she would once I was able to prove that I earned the money legitimately. She was too smart to accept check stubs created online.
“Me too,” he quickly agrees. “I might have an Xbox if she did.”
We both chuckle, neither of us feeling any humor in the conversation.
“I better get inside before she comes looking for me,” he says, standing from the steps.
I stand too, pulling him into my chest for a hug, knowing it could very well be the last time I see him.
My throat burns with all the things I want to say to him.
I cup his face in my hands, and I watch as his eyes well with tears, as if he knows exactly what this means.
“Connor.”
“Love you, too, weirdo,” he says, taking a step back and pushing at my chest.
He sniffles once as he turns to leave.
I step off the porch into the shadows, wondering if I’ll be an even greater disappointment to my mom. My dad ruined his life, drank himself to death because of the fucking Severino family, and it’s very possible I’ll be joining him soon.
“What could you possibly be doing outside in the dark?” It’s my mother’s voice. I don’t hear it very often.
Even disembodied, she sounds tired and frustrated.
“Nothing.”
“I heard you talking.”
“To that dog that keeps wandering over from the neighbor’s yard. I was just—”
The door closes behind him, cutting off his words.
I wait a few seconds longer, wondering if he’ll confess to what he was actually doing.
I always wait, praying she’ll step out onto the porch and look for me in the darkness.
She never does, and tonight is no different from the others.
As I walk away, I question everything I’m doing, knowing full well I can claim I’m doing this for Ellie, but I know better.
Madelene needs this. She needs the monsters eradicated from her life. She deserves a choice.
At least Connor has our mother. He’ll have someone that loves him to protect him long after I’m gone.
Mads has no one but me.
Chapter 32
Madelene
My stomach growls as if it has to voice its own irritation with the vending machine spitting out the dollar bill I tried to use to buy some damn chips.
I’ve been hungry for hours, but I had to wait for the sun to come up and for all the blue-collar workers that are staying at the motel to clear out for the day before venturing out of the room.
Outside entry places are fucking creepy, and rather dirty, but I guess I don’t have any room to complain. I’d rather sleep on dirty sheets than worry about who has access to my room, although I don’t feel exactly safe.