Total pages in book: 63
Estimated words: 60487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 60487 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 302(@200wpm)___ 242(@250wpm)___ 202(@300wpm)
After a moment, Grayson nodded slowly. “I wanted to see my friend. And now I want to know how you’re feeling.” He glanced at the leftover lavender. “Why are you upset?”
Carl sigh-groaned and flung himself dramatically back in his seat. “When I was chasing after you earlier I bumped into Linda, and she said I need to think about home.”
Grayson straightened on his stool. “You chased . . .” He cleared his throat and kept the conversation on track. “Linda told you to think about home?”
“Yes, and it’s been occupying my head the whole afternoon. Then my brother messaged me, and I’m still coming to terms with it.”
Grayson waited patiently as Carl explained the mess he’d left behind. “ . . . They’re nice girls. I once cheered one of them up by tagging a lamppost. That got me a good fine but it stopped her tears. Still . . .” Carl grabbed at another lavender frond and Grayson saved it from decimation, placing a warm hand over his and pinching the frond free.
“Still, what?”
A long sigh. “If Cora gets married . . . she’ll become a step-mum.” His chin sank and his throat tightened. “The girls might even call her Mum, when I’ve never had the chance.”
The stool skidded closer, and the block of Grayson’s warmth hovered close. A comforting hand titled his chin, dragged to the crook of his neck and rested there. “You want to acknowledge her.”
A nod.
“You want her to acknowledge you.”
For the first time in Carl’s life, the sting behind his eyes gave way to blurry vision and dampness down his cheek. Grayson had understood immediately. Said the words he’d not even admitted to himself. More than calling her Mum, he wanted her to call him her son. Hers. Someone worthy of a mother’s unconditional love.
Grayson murmured, “It sounds like you have a close bond, even though you haven’t shared the truth. Maybe it’s her way of being there for you?”
“You-you think so?”
“She comes almost every day to hang with you at the store. That sounds like love to me.”
Carl covered his face with his hands. “You always know what to say.” He laughed croakily. “Something’s not right about you. You’re too perfect.”
“Perfect?”
That sounded . . . Carl peeked between his fingers at the preening look Grayson had and snorted. “I spoke too soon.”
Grayson returned to being serious. “I think, deep down, you want to talk with her.”
Carl swallowed the lump in his throat and nodded.
“Want to practice?”
“Practice? How?”
Grayson considered this, eyed his bundle, took the wrap dress and flung it around his shoulders.
“Grayson!” Carl laughed, shoving him.
Grayson took it off again. “Practice facing her with me.”
Carl took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “This feels weird.”
“You can always be weird with me.”
“That’s weirdly reassuring.”
“Imagine I’m your mother. I’ve come into your store and”—Grayson caught sight of the magazine Carl had abandoned earlier and plucked it up—“I’m about to read out your horoscope. Go.”
Carl lowered the magazine Grayson was now flicking through. “I know the truth, Cora.”
“Truth, what truth? Hahaha.”
Carl winced. “Without putting on a female voice?”
Grayson cleared his throat and tried again.
“The truth about our relationship.”
“You know?”
“I struggled to bring this up earlier. I didn’t want to come across as ungrateful. Patricia did a lot of the heavy lifting growing up, and she is a ‘mum’ to me, but I’ve always had a bond with you too.”
Grayson encouraged him to continue.
Carl hauled in a breath. “I know you are my birth parent. I know I have a twin brother. I also know you couldn’t take care of both of us.”
“Are you . . . angry?”
“No. I was hard enough for Patricia on my own. I don’t fault you for adopting Jason out. Look where he got to because he was given a chance with a family who had the capacity to care for him.”
Grayson had his hand now and was holding it tightly. Or perhaps Carl had grabbed his, and he was the one gripping hard.
“Still. It’s shocking. And I felt lots of confusing things when I first met Jason. I have questions I’ve wanted to ask you and Patricia, and I’ve had to bear never getting answers. I didn’t want to upset the status quo. Don’t want to hurt Patricia’s feelings, or make you uncomfortable. So, I keep running away from my feelings.” Carl choked on his words, finding it difficult to continue. He really struggled with the idea of rocking the family boat. What if it distanced Patricia from him? What if Cora didn’t want to be acknowledged and stopped her daily visits to avoid awkwardness? What if it cost him two people he cared about?
Carl looked at Grayson, panicking. “Do I really have to face this?”
Grayson gently squeezed his hand. “Perhaps confronting these feelings will be healing.”
“Healing?”
A small, sympathetic smile. “Help to put your heart back together? Even one conversation can shift an entire perspective and jumpstart the heart. Maybe talking your feelings through, asking those questions, will help you feel more at ease with your family. Also with your ex.”