Total pages in book: 139
Estimated words: 131137 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 131137 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 656(@200wpm)___ 525(@250wpm)___ 437(@300wpm)
Too shocked to speak, Shaya just stared at him. As his eyes took on a faraway quality, Shaya knew he was back there, seeing those flames surrounding him all over again. Wanting to bring him to the present again, she said, “Nick?”
His gaze snapped to her. “You’ve heard of shifters whose animals have surfaced early before, right?”
She nodded. “I don’t know any. But I’ve heard that it can happen.”
“Do you know what happens to them in later life?”
At his hard tone, a blast of cold traveled down her spine. “What?”
“Healers aren’t sure why it happens, though they speculate that it’s because the body and the mind were forced to deal with changes they weren’t ready for at a young age and that those changes put too much of a strain on them. It causes the cognitive functions to degenerate later on. When I found you, I was having healing sessions to try to fight it. The sessions worked. But I had that fear that the improvement was only temporary. I didn’t want you to be my caregiver. It didn’t feel fair to claim you and then have you burdened with someone you had to take care of—a patient instead of a mate.”
There was almost a click in Shaya’s head as everything he’d done or said since they first found each other fell into place for her. She finally understood. But…“Nick, you’re a fucking idiot.” There was no anger or harshness, just pure and utter exasperation. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me this in the beginning?”
“You would have insisted on sticking by me.”
“And you wouldn’t have done the same if the situation was reversed? Don’t dare tell me that that’s different! It’s not! You should have told me! You should have given me the choice to stand by you, to be there for you!”
“When I found you and realized I couldn’t claim you without endangering you, it seemed…fitting. It made sense that I wouldn’t be allowed to have my mate, considering the shit I’ve done and not regretted. And you’re so damn sweet and perfect, whereas me…I have more coldness in me than I care to admit.”
“You still should have told me! Why in God’s name didn’t you mention this to me three weeks ago?” To think how much of a bitch she had been to him when all he’d been trying to do by not claiming her was, in his own warped way, protect her.
“I didn’t want a chance out of pity. I wanted it because I’d earned it.”
Dominant males and their pride. “You still shouldn’t have kept this from me.”
“And you don’t have your secrets? Don’t think I don’t know that you’re keeping things from me, Shay. You have a huge issue with being alone. I haven’t pressed you about it because I didn’t feel I had a right to when I was keeping things from you. But I’d say it’s only fair that you tell me.”
“I don’t like talking about it.”
The ache in her voice made Nick’s hackles rise. “I don’t like talking about what happened that day in the woods…but I told you when you asked.”
Okay, that was fair. It was a long moment before she spoke. “I was a twin. An identical twin. My sister, Mika…she died in the womb.”
His eyes fell closed, and he cursed. He took one of her hands in his. “Baby, I’m sorry.”
“Even then, before we were born, we’d bonded. That probably sounds dramatic and impossible. But it’s no different from saying that babies can hear their parents’ voices from the womb and can find them soothing. Mika and I had each other all those months. As I was growing up, that ‘empty’ feeling was always there. That feeling of being alone.” She smiled as a memory came to her. “When I was little, I used to pretend that Taryn was my twin.”
The image of a small version of Shaya feeling so lost and empty that she used her friend as a substitute sister almost broke his heart. “I’ll bet Taryn was happy to be part of that game.”
Shaya’s smile widened. “Yeah, she was. She never had any siblings, so we both got a lot of fun out of that little fantasy.” Her smile faded as she continued. “But maybe I would have coped a lot better if it hadn’t been for what happened when I was four.”
It was a struggle for Nick to keep his voice even when anger was riding him at the idea of anything hurting her. “What happened, Shay?”
“For the first four years of my life, my parents and I didn’t live on pack territory. The Alpha—Taryn’s dad, Lance—didn’t approve of my mom mating a human, even though my dad was her true mate. So they lived in a house close by. But my parents…See, my dad was a Navy SEAL, so he went away a lot. My mom wasn’t very good at handling it—not that I can blame her. It must have been hard. Every weekend, she’d go out with her friends to bars and clubs. She used to leave me alone in the house while she went, even when I was little.”