Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 36154 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 181(@200wpm)___ 145(@250wpm)___ 121(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 36154 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 181(@200wpm)___ 145(@250wpm)___ 121(@300wpm)
He chuckled. “Not really. This life is all I’ve known since I was born. My life experiences began the moment I could walk.”
She sighed. “I remember my parents having to deal with what was to happen to my brother. When he died, my dad never wanted me to be at the mercy of a man. Yet, here I am. I can’t believe he made me train all those years and still made me marry.”
“No one is making you marry, Isabella.”
“We both know if I don’t marry you, it’s going to be someone else who can’t stand who I am. There’s no way they’re going to allow me to go off to target practice or spar. I’ve just got to deal with it. I’m fine. Honestly.”
“You were twelve, weren’t you?”
She paused. “Yes.”
“It wasn’t long after your brother died.”
“I got pulled out of boarding school. That very night, after dinner, Dad led me down to the basement and my training began. Up until then, I’d never been hit.”
“Were you a good kid?”
“Yes.” She smiled. “I take it you weren’t.”
“Didn’t matter. I got hit if I cried. I got hit if I didn’t cry.”
“I know you have to get used to the pain. In case you’re ever taken and tortured. You’ve got to take a lot.”
“Were you tortured?” Damon asked.
She opened her mouth to respond and stopped. Talking about her training and experiences were foreign to her. What she went through was what her father felt she needed to do in order to survive. “Dad, he … yes, but it was all for my own good.”
“I don’t think anyone considers being hurt part of their own good.”
She shrugged. “I know he hated what he did and for the long-term, it did me good. Look at last night. I would be dead right now if I didn’t do what I did.”
“It doesn’t piss you off?”
“Damon, it does piss me off but I’m not going to change anything, am I? I’m who I am now. There’s nothing I can do to change that.”
“Were you like every other kind of girl?”
“I have a feeling you’re going to insult me.”
“Planning your wedding. The perfect husband. Stuff like that.”
“You’re sneering.”
“I’m curious.”
“And you’re sneering.” She blew out a breath. Let’s see, no, I wasn’t. I didn’t plan my white wedding. Or the man I was going to marry. I read a lot of books. Studied hard. I didn’t want to become a wife or a mother. The very thought scares me. Whenever I attended those functions and saw pregnant women and then saw the men, I always felt sick, worried. They’re not good men. I don’t want to ever bring children into this world who I can’t guarantee I’ll protect.” Her mouth was suddenly really dry. “Do you want kids?”
“I do.”
“Oh.”
“I know why you’re worried. If it’s a boy, I’m going to have to train him to be like me. If it’s a girl, well, we’re going to marry her off.”
“So comforting,” she said. This was something she was going to need to get a handle on. If she didn’t learn to bite her tongue and not speak everything on her mind, it was going to cause a lot of problems. Her father had allowed her to be outspoken. “I’m sorry.”
“No, you’re not. Don’t get me wrong, I’m shocked at how open you are. It’s refreshing, but if we’re going to have to put on a front for everyone else, you’re going to need to keep your thoughts to yourself.”
“You’re right.” She flopped back to the ground. “I’m usually a lot better than this. If I do have a daughter, I know I’m going to make sure she gets to marry for love.”
“You believe in love?”
“Yes. Don’t you?”
“I don’t believe love can exist in our world. It’s all a matter of greed, loyalty, and fear.”
“My parents loved each other so much. It broke my father when she died. The training and torture aside, he was a really good man. I loved him dearly. I miss him.”
“Do you want to fall in love?”
She leaned back on her hands, thinking about it. “I used to. Maybe when I was younger and I didn’t have so much … knowledge.”
“You think knowledge is a problem?”
“You can’t stop knowledge, can you? Once you know something, you can’t pretend to not know it. Love is precious but I know who we are now. We can’t have the satisfaction of falling in love. It gets you killed. I don’t want to die and I certainly don’t want to live past any husband I’m in love with. Did you ever love any of your previous fiancées?”
“No.”
“No?”
“They were all a contract. All of them arranged.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. You’re having to marry me.”
“And I suddenly don’t like this conversation.”
“We’re going to have to talk about it. Do you want to wear white? Have it in a church? Large or small ceremony?"