Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 98226 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 98226 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 491(@200wpm)___ 393(@250wpm)___ 327(@300wpm)
And what would he think if I told him?
I shook my head, using the edge of the bed to help me stand up before I brushed off my sweatpants. “Just forget about it.”
“You’re lying,” Joel said, pointing his finger at my chest. “Why are you snooping on me?”
“Snooping?” I asked incredulously. “It’s my bed, too. I was just looking under it for something I lost.” I narrowed my eyes. “What are you hiding under there, anyway?”
“It’s none of your business, and I mean it.” He swiped the key from the floor and hastily tucked it in his pocket. “So just don’t—”
“Then tell me what it is!”
“It’s a surprise! Okay?” Joel’s chest heaved, in and out, his eyes crazy as he watched me. “A surprise for you. But you’re going to ruin it if you look.”
My heart squeezed with something between guilt and suspicion, but in the end, guilt won out.
“Oh…” I blew out a breath, shaking my head at myself as I sat back on the bed. “I’m sorry. I swear, I wasn’t trying to snoop. I just…”
I just wanted to find the earrings Theo bought for me because I can’t stop thinking about him even though I know I should.
I sighed in lieu of continuing my answer, because I didn’t feel like lying. I was too exhausted to lie.
“Why don’t you get dressed and come downstairs,” Joel said after a moment, and I thought I heard an ounce of pity in his voice. “You’ve been by yourself too much. You’re…”
“Losing it?” I asked, but it was more of a dare when my eyes met Joel, and he was smart enough not to take it.
“Just come hang out for a while.”
“And watch you hang all over Ivy?” I scoffed. “No, thanks.”
Joel rolled his eyes, ripping the door open. “Fine. Sit in here alone then.”
He slammed the door before I could respond, and I flopped back on the bed, covering my face with a pillow before I screamed into it. I screamed until my chest burned, until my lungs threatened to seize up if I didn’t inhale a fresh breath of oxygen. Then, I pulled the pillow off, staring up at the ceiling with my chest heaving.
I really am losing it.
My nerves were alive like I’d just run a marathon, a combination of the panic I’d felt looking for the earrings and the confrontation with Joel.
He’s planning a surprise for me?
He’s lying.
But maybe he’s not. Maybe he had something romantic planned before I blew up about the Ivy thing.
Or maybe he’s being a jerk.
Did I overreact to the Ivy thing?
No, and why is he trying to make me think I did?
I couldn’t sit still, couldn’t stop groaning and fuming and tossing this way and that in the bed. I was entirely restless.
I laid there for a long time, forcing calming breaths, placing my hands on my stomach to ground me. I felt the breaths there, followed the inhales and exhales as my heart steadied. Time slipped away again, and I relaxed, drawing circles on my belly and listening to the hum of the yacht.
The more my fingers brushed against my skin, the more it tickled to life.
Goosebumps spread out over my navel, up my chest and down my thighs. I sighed at the way it felt to be touched, and when I flattened my warm palm against my stomach, everything in my core reacted.
Joel and I hadn’t had sex in weeks, and alone in that bed with my body buzzing to life with every small wisp of my fingers, I didn’t think about the last time he touched me. I didn’t think about the last time he slid inside me, about the familiar way he filled me or any of my favorite times we’d been together.
Instead, I thought of Theo.
I thought of the way his hand touched my thigh in the hot tub, how soft it had been, so tender I wasn’t sure it had happened at all. I thought of the way he stared at me across the pool when I wore Celeste’s swimsuit, and the way his eyes devoured me when I modeled the orange dress for him in Positano. I thought of all the words he said, his promises of what he would do if he had me alone.
I told myself to stop, but then I thought about our conversation in Positano.
Philautia.
And then in the name of self-love, I let my imagination take over.
I saw Theo there at the cabin door, throwing it open and staring down at me, his chest heaving as he took in the sight of me spread out on the bed.
Why have you been hiding from me?
I let my knees drop open, my hand sliding between my thighs.
I’m not hiding anymore.
With a growl of need, he descended upon me, and I felt the vision like it was the realest thing I’d experienced in days. I could smell his skin, the citrus and the smoke. I could feel his hands wrapping around my rib cage, pinning me to the bed, his weight descending on me. A pang shot between my legs and I chased the sensation with my fingers, running them through my wetness before I circled my clit.