Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 57891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 289(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 57891 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 289(@200wpm)___ 232(@250wpm)___ 193(@300wpm)
I wish I could be as strong as him, but the truth is, I’m far from it. I’m faced with so many things I didn’t consider when we started this lie. I want to tell people the truth, but that won’t clear my name. It will only make me look worse.
It’s like I’m damned if I do, and I’m damned if I don’t.
I can’t win either way.
I focus on getting to my next class, trying to act like I don’t feel everyone’s eyes on me. Finally, I sit in the same seat I have since the first day of class. Way in the back where no one can see me or find me, for that matter. I’m not here for anyone’s fucking entertainment, and I don’t owe anyone a damn thing.
I pull out my notebook and start doodling Mrs. Wolf onto the blank pages, and for some reason I don’t want to consider, it makes me happy for a fleeting moment. I get lost in my fantasy world that at the end of all this, Professor Wolf and I will be together.
I’m in love with him.
Head over heels.
Madly in love with him.
And some part of me knows he’s aware of it although he hasn’t called me out on it. I don’t know if that makes things better or worse. Either thought makes me anxious, and I’m back to square one again.
Do I tell him that I love him?
What good will that do?
Will it make things more complicated than they already are between us?
Who the hell knows. I know he has that meeting with his father today, and I hope it goes better than he anticipates. I hope everything just gets better from here. We’ve been through enough, haven’t we?
Question after question tears through my mind with no end in sight. The more I doodle Mrs. Wolf, the more I realize I truly am in denial of my current reality. It’s insane how much your life can change in a matter of a few weeks.
I feel on edge, and that’s not good for a girl like me.
I’m worried he’ll think it’s only about his money when that can’t be further from the truth. Especially with what’s going on with my trust. However, it doesn’t stop the reckless thought that he’ll think I’m a gold digger. Exactly like my mother.
I love Ronan Wolf.
I’ve never felt more protected.
Adored.
Safe.
He makes me feel like I’m not as fucked up as everyone claims I am. That I’m not just a socialite with no intelligence or skills. I’ve played into the narrative for years, relying on it to keep myself from getting hurt. It’s so easy for me to fall into that character.
Now, I may not know who I truly am, but I know who I want to be.
And the undeniable truth is…
I want to be Mrs. Wolf more than anything.
CHAPTER 24
Ronan
I haven’t been able to fucking think straight. All I know is that she needs out of it before things get worse. I never should have asked her to do this. It’s my fault. Every fucking bit of it, and I’m the only one who should pay the price.
If I can do one last thing for her, it’s to give her a way out. I stand as I hear her heels clicking down the hall, back home from class. Just like I’ve gotten used to, but today I can’t stand it. Time’s moved too fast.
I’m sick to my stomach when Brook comes inside my office. I back away from her, needing some space.
Her face pales. “What’s wrong?”
I do what I have to do.
I do what is supposed to be right but feels so fucking wrong.
Instead of breaking it to her easily, I flat-out spew, “We knew this wasn’t going to last.”
She doesn’t say a word, though the light in her eyes dims. It’s like watching her walls go up. A version of her I used to know looks back at me, and I already hate it. I wish I could go back, but I have to do this. I’ve already started it. She can’t go through this shit with me.
The total silence is deafening. My heart pounds, and I wait, but she says nothing. My head spins, and I lean against my desk. My knuckle is still split, and I stare at it rather than her as I tell her, “It’s been over a month, and we did our part. It’s a mess as it is, and it’s best if we just split and lay low.”
Still, she doesn’t speak.
She doesn’t move either.
She’s sort of just there. Giving me nothing. Not fighting. Not objecting. Just there.
I can’t read her one way or the other, and for the first time, it scares me. How much I can truly hurt her even though I’m trying to save her.
Love her.
“It makes sense if we split because of the scandal. I know I said it didn’t matter what people thought… I was wrong.”