Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 123155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 123155 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 616(@200wpm)___ 493(@250wpm)___ 411(@300wpm)
Dropping my ass to the bed with a sigh, I ran my hands through my hair and scrubbed them over my beard. It was so weird being back and knowing that I’d be staying at the club, even for a little while. Anytime I’d visited in the past, I’d spent a few hours saying hi and visiting on the compound, and then almost always had dinner with Poet and Amy before heading to a hotel. It was nice to catch up, but I was usually ready to go back to my life after an afternoon being surrounded by the old crew.
Something was different this time. It didn’t feel like I was back to see some old friends. It felt like I was home for the first time in a long time. It felt natural and comfortable, and beyond the fact that we had some seriously big shit that needed to be dealt with—almost relaxing.
As I stood up from the bed and pulled my hoodie off, I tried to figure out why this trip to Eugene was so different. It wasn’t necessarily because of the circumstances or the fact that I knew I’d be staying a while. Any other time, I still would’ve been itching to leave even if I knew I had to stay.
Then, as Brenna walked by the doorway and gave a little wave, I realized what the difference was.
Cecilia.
It wasn’t because she was in trouble, it was because she was there. Eugene hadn’t felt like home in years because Cecilia hadn’t lived there for years. This was the first time we were both at the club at the same time. God, I was an idiot. Cecilia felt like home, especially in the middle of our family and friends, in the place where we’d fallen in love.
I hurried back to the main room.
Chapter 19
Cecilia
I should’ve put on more makeup. Out of all the things I’d learned from my mother, one of the lessons had always stuck with me – never go to war without your war paint. I’d taken the time to swipe on some lipstick as we’d pulled up the gravel driveway, but as I stepped inside the clubhouse doors, I realized it hadn’t been enough. I felt exposed. Naked.
I recognized the old, artificial holly garland draped across the bar and the biker Santa perched on top of the sound system, but the familiar Christmas decorations that I’d loved as a kid did nothing to calm my nerves. If anything, their worn condition highlighted how long I’d been gone. I couldn’t even enjoy the way the strings of colored lights made the room seem like it was glowing as my gaze scanned the room.
“I’m so glad you’re home,” Aunt Callie said, ushering me into the room. “The men will get everything figured out.”
I smiled, but didn’t reply. I wasn’t sure how they were going to figure anything out, and honestly, I was more concerned at the moment with the sweat that was making my t-shirt stick to my skin. It wasn’t even very warm in the clubhouse. They kept it cool because the temperature always rose a lot when you got a big crowd of people inside one room.
“I know you’re probably overwhelmed,” Amy said to my quietly, as Aunt Callie turned to yell at Will across the room. “But it’s going to be okay, honey. You’re home now, for what that’s worth, and at least you’ll have some time to rest.”
“Thank you for letting us use the beach house,” I replied, tucking Olive closer to my chest. “It was such a relief to have a little time off the grid.”
“Absolutely,” Amy said. “We don’t use it much in the winter anyway.” She waved her hand in dismissal. “My car doesn’t do well in the snow, so we stick close to home.”
“You need to get something with all-wheel drive,” I said as my aunt turned to me, wiggling her fingers in a give me gesture. I handed Olive over, and without the weight of her in my arms, I felt even more uncomfortable. It was pretty pathetic that I was using a baby as my shield, but beggars can’t be choosers, right?
“Honey, I’m old as dirt,” Amy said with a laugh. “I’m not buying a new car when I won’t even have time to enjoy it.”
“Don’t say that,” I yelped. “Ugh. Don’t even think it.”
“We all die, CeeCee,” she replied, patting my arm. “I’ve had a good run.”
“Jesus, I thought you were trying to make me feel better! What the hell?”
“Well, some things never change,” my mom said, choosing that moment to join our conversation.
“She’s talking about dying,” I replied defensively.
“You’re going to live forever and that’s final,” Mom said to Amy, poking her in the chest. She turned to Aunt Callie and started cooing at Olive.
“She is the sweetest baby,” my mom said with a happy sigh. “Seriously. If I’d had one like her, we wouldn’t have stopped at four.”