Total pages in book: 122
Estimated words: 117752 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 117752 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 589(@200wpm)___ 471(@250wpm)___ 393(@300wpm)
“I have it. Did she make you promise to watch Beauty and the Beast?”
“Yes. Why?”
“Because I’ve watched that with her a dozen times already. I’ll paint her fingernails and let you two watch it in the living room. Me and Harley can watch Power Rangers.”
“We can all watch it together. What do you think, Star?”
“Uncle Calder, I really want to watch my movie. Please?”
Crazy Bitch grinned, knowing what he would do next.
“Star, you’re the guest. You can do anything you want.”
When they arrived at Crazy Bitch’s apartment, Calder took Harley outside to toss his football around in the lot behind her apartment building, while Crazy Bitch helped Star practice for Stud’s birthday surprise.
He waited until they were in her bedroom and Harley was asleep in her spare bedroom, while Star was happily asleep with her fingernails painted in the same color as Crazy Bitch’s on the fold-out couch before telling her about seeing Candi that afternoon.
Reaching for the television remote, Crazy Bitch turned the TV on so Star wouldn’t hear what they were discussing if she awoke. “That bitch is going to try to drive a wedge between you and Stud.”
“It won’t work. If our father and Aunt Katy couldn’t, Candi doesn’t stand a chance.”
“It’s different with kids. People get emotional where kids are concerned.”
“I’m going to talk to Stud first thing in the morning. Whatever she’s planning won’t work. I made an appointment with Diamond for tomorrow, too. Hopefully, she can intervene, and Star doesn’t need to know before Stud and Sex Piston decide to tell her.
She got to her knees on the bed to glare down at him. “It’s not only Stud and Sex Piston’s decision. You have a say in it, too.” Her voice was low but forceful. “Why do you put yourself last where she is concerned? I love you, but you have a serious self-esteem issue. No matter how much I tell you I love you, or Stud and Star show you how much they love you, you don’t consider what your wants and needs are. Why?”
He wanted to look away from her but couldn’t. Instead, he focused on the wall past her shoulder, trying to maintain his composure. It took a minute before his voice was steady enough to keep from exposing his emotional turmoil.
“I’ve been selfish most of my life. I didn’t want to deal with my father’s badgering to be a racer like Stud. I didn’t want anyone but me working on his or Stud’s motorcycle, and then my irresponsibility cost him his life. Because I couldn’t man up and accept the responsibility for what happened, I did drugs. Then, when I became hooked, I wanted them despite Stud trying to stop me. I wrecked his first marriage. I wanted Candi sexually, and I didn’t use a condom because I didn’t want to. I wanted you, but I didn’t want to drag you into my fucked-up life. Even when I was clean, did I come back and try to make you see I was worth having in your life? No. Because I was still afraid I would backslide. It was Gavin who made me realize I would never go back to that way of life. Ever. I would fucking shoot myself before I’d let another drop of that poison in my body.
“The only thing, and I repeat, the only thing I’ve done right was protecting her from me. Father is just a word. Being a father is another ball game. Any sucker like me can get a woman knocked up, but it’s men like Stud who deserve the Father’s Day cards and birthday… dances.” Calder’s voice choked with emotion, his eyes going glassy with unshed tears that he couldn’t bear to spill in front of her.
“Hot thang.” She lay down on his chest, hugging him close. “Star’s not going to love you any less when she finds out she’s your daughter. Look at Meri and Keri. They love Sex Piston as much as their own mother. It’s not either/or between you and Stud. She’ll be able to handle it. I know she’ll be fine.”
“How do you know? You can’t promise me that.”
“Yes, I can. You’re forgetting the most important part.”
“Which is?” He stared down at her doubtfully.
“She’s tough. Star’s the worst dancer in my class, but she has the most heart. She gets that from you.” She poked a firm finger into his chest. “From you, Calder. That’s what she’s gotten from you, despite you not being there when she was born, or being there when she took her first steps, her first birthday dances. You might have missed a lot of her firsts, but it’s up to you if she saves a dance for you during father-daughter dances, or her sweet sixteen, and her wedding reception. Those are up to you. Her dance card isn’t filled yet; it’s just waiting for you to put your name on it.”