Total pages in book: 230
Estimated words: 217798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1089(@200wpm)___ 871(@250wpm)___ 726(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 217798 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1089(@200wpm)___ 871(@250wpm)___ 726(@300wpm)
“I cannot be what you want me to be.”
“Hence the divorce. Then you can go back to your delicate flowers and leave your manly wife behind. Perhaps they’ll make you feel more like a man with their simpering neediness.”
“Or I can go back to them anyway, keep my marriage and my crown, and turn you into what I need you to be,” he shot back. “Have you thought of that? I can bend you to my will and then you’ll know who the Master is.”
There was no way she was taking that. “Or I could save us both an enormous amount of trouble and cut your balls off while you’re sleeping and stuff them down your throat so you never threaten me like that again. If you lay a single hand on me, you’ll find out how strong I can be.”
That seemed to throw him. He stepped back, his hands up. “I wasn’t going to hit you, Day. I would never hit you. I…god, I didn’t mean it that way.”
At least he wasn’t about to become an abusive prick. He was simply feeling the stresses of the past few days, the same way she was. “I’m going to find a place to sleep. I can’t talk about this anymore today.”
He reached out, this time his hold on her arm gentle. “Dayita, I would never hit you. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. But you should have told me before we married that you need something I can’t give you.”
“You don’t know what I need at all. I need to play in the bedroom. I never would have asked you to defer to me outside of there. I thought you needed someplace where you didn’t have to be the king, where you could relax and let someone you trust take over. That was all I ever wanted. I wanted for us to explore and find what works for us. I wasn’t ashamed of my past. If it gets out, I don’t care. I didn’t think you would either. I thought you loved me more than you loved your own image. A silly thing to think since this was an arranged marriage.”
“We’re not divorcing, Day,” he said, but his tone was low and weary. “Royals don’t divorce.”
“Tell that to Charles and Diana,” she replied. “Somehow the British monarchy is still around.”
She walked out, closing the door behind her, and stepped out into the hallway. Naturally she had no idea where to go.
“Sometimes it’s hard to accept the things we need.” Alex McKay stood at the bottom of the stairs leading up to what she suspected was the dungeon portion of the club. “Especially those things that run counter to what we’ve been taught we should need.”
“Why do you think I was gently working him toward a light form of submission?” She asked the question with the weary tone of a woman who knew she was about to be judged and found lacking.
“So you were being sneaky about it? You know he’s been in this club a few times. He always tries to play the Dom, but it was obvious to me his heart wasn’t in it. I actually suggested he scene with one of our Dommes. I suggested that he should do it because every Dom should know what it feels like to be the one on bottom. Most of my tops eagerly embrace the experience because they know it will make them a better Master or Mistress. Not Kash. He utterly refused, and when I insisted I couldn’t give him Master rights without it, he left and hasn’t come back until today. Oh, he’s friendly enough, but I knew then I’d hit a tender nerve. But you did get him to submit, didn’t you?”
Had she been wrong to lead him the way she had? She’d never demanded that he do anything. She’d simply gone on instinct. Should she have turned it all into a long lesson about what she wanted from him that would have ended in a contract signed by the two of them? “I don’t know that I would say that. I don’t need his pure submission. I was only trying to give him what I thought he needed. He’s not capable of telling me. You’re right about that. It’s why I did what I did.”
“He has to be able to look himself in the mirror.” McKay leaned against the railing of the stairs.
“He did nothing that he should be ashamed of.” How could Kash even think that?
“I know that. You know that. I don’t think he understands that at all. Sometimes the best play a top can make is to be patient and show some kindness to his or her submissive. Even when they don’t really deserve it.” McKay gestured to the stairs above. “Your rooms are on the third floor. I opened the connecting doors between rooms two and three to make a suite. My wife, Eve, stocked the rooms with toiletries and clothes. You made her day because that woman loves to buy clothes. There are two beds if you need them, but I would advise you not to make decisions today. I know he’s a douchebag, but sleep on it before you dump him. I think he needs time. Two weeks isn’t a lot of time to adjust to getting married and to changing his view of himself.”