Total pages in book: 58
Estimated words: 54055 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 270(@200wpm)___ 216(@250wpm)___ 180(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 54055 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 270(@200wpm)___ 216(@250wpm)___ 180(@300wpm)
I would let it be enough.
Chapter 34
Dante
Dammit. I heard Lucy when she said she loved me. The words had shocked me at first. But on the heels of that came a familiar warmth I thought I would never feel again. No, that’s not true. This was unlike anything I’ve ever felt. It wasn’t like the love I had for Lena, it was entirely different. And it was nothing at all like the love I thought I’d had for my ex.
Lucy’s love made me feel like I was different. Like I was a better version of myself, funny and interesting. Kind. Hell, she even found my grumpiness entertaining. All that she made me feel, but when it came down to hearing the words, I froze.
Even though my back was to her, I felt her gaze on me. I felt her imploring me, pleading with me to turn around and say something. To say anything. Instead of doing any of that, I feigned sleep and let her leave my room.
I’d just gotten her back, and this time I was worried there would be no forgiveness. Her words had shocked me but they weren’t unwanted. Sure, I had worried about us, about the viability of our relationship, but every single night when she came to me or when I found myself at her door, everything was right with the world. Together we were incredible and explosive, unlike anything I have ever experienced. Together, we were perfect.
Go to her.
My conscious urged me to get out of bed and go after Lucy. To say the words she wanted, no, the words she deserved to hear. There was no doubt that I felt the same way, so why hadn’t I said the words? More importantly, was I willing to let Lucy go because I was too damn scared to admit how I felt?
No.
After a shitty night of tossing and turning, I woke up early and went straight to the home gym where I pushed my body until I was covered in sweat. I ran on the treadmill until my legs screamed at me to stop. I pushed every muscle until I ached. But still, my mind hadn’t settled and I was no closer to a plan to tell Lucy how I felt.
A long, hot shower still hadn’t produced any answers but at least my sore muscles felt a hint of relief. It was time to get some help. I grabbed my phone and called the one person who would give it to me straight.
“Dante,” Alex laughed, sounding like he’d been up for hours despite the early hour. “Didn’t know you suits got out of bed before nine o’clock.”
“Funny. Is this a good time?”
“That depends,” he answered with a smile in his voice.
“On what,” I barked. My patience was already thin and I knew Alex was having too much fun at my expense.
“On what you’re calling for. Are you calling to tell me that you screwed things up with the hot nanny?”
I said nothing, just stared at the phone with enough anger to explode the damn thing.
“I’ll take that as a yes,” Alex said, his tone smug and self-satisfied. “Tell Uncle Alex how you fucked up.”
A reluctant smile parted my lips. “You’re not my uncle.”
“Details. You want my help or not?”
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Honestly? I’m not sure.”
Alex barked out a laugh. “That’s fair, but you did called me.”
He was right, of course. I inhaled deeply and as I exhaled, I told Alex everything about my relationship with Lucy from the beginning until last night. “And that’s about it.” I held my breath and waited for Alex to hit me with a brilliant idea that would guarantee I didn’t lose Lucy. At the very least, I expected him to mock me.
“You forgot one thing,” he offered up after a long, torturous silence.
I frowned even though he couldn’t see me. “What’s that?”
“The part where you love her too, only you’re too chickenshit to tell her.”
“That’s why I’m calling you, Alex. I messed up by not saying it back in the moment.”
He laughed. “You mean pretending you were asleep so you didn’t have to deal with it.”
“Yeah, that,” I grunted, annoyed at his blunt yet accurate assessment of my behavior last night.
“You love her.” It wasn’t a question because Alex knew me well.
“I do. I love her man, but I thought I was in love once before and remember how that turned out. It nearly ruined my life.”
“Wow, you’re not just a scared little bitch. You’re a coward.” Alex laughed. “I’m surprised.”
“You’re not helping.”
“I am. You just don’t like the way my help is delivered.” He let those words settle before he spoke again. “Lucy isn’t Bethany. Lucy takes care of kids for a living, which means she’s unlikely to up and decide she doesn’t want motherhood. And she already said she loves you so what’s the problem?”