Total pages in book: 140
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 137433 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 687(@200wpm)___ 550(@250wpm)___ 458(@300wpm)
I think it’s the first time either of us has done anything less than perfect. Seeing her destroying instead of mending for once in her life does something to me. She punches a tree, and I realize that she is bleeding, and that realization, that she is hurting, finally snaps me out of my trance. I pause. Look around. Breathe. Really breathe, feeling the oxygen filling my lungs and the carbon dioxide leaving them. The wind ceases to weep. The rain stops. Bailey stops too.
Time moves, but we don’t. We stand there like two trees, the soft ripples of the river nearby the only sound penetrating the silence. For a moment, we’re the only two creatures existing in this world. The sole survivors of my mental apocalypse. Then I hear it. The chirp of birds. Bailey and I both look up at the same branch, where two doves are huddled together, slightly damp from the rain. One of them cleans the other with its beak. The other is tweeting.
I swear it’s looking at us while it chirps. Am I losing my mind? Why the fuck not? This seems on par with the rest of my crappy week.
“Look, Levy.” Bailey points at the birds, her eyes flaring. “Know what they are?”
“Rats with wings.” I scowl, not in the mood for a wildlife lesson. Bailey is full of useless facts about animals. And every other subject under the sun, really.
“Turtle doves,” she corrects. “They’re notoriously loyal. Symbolizing friendship and everlasting love.”
“Parasitic disease hubs.” I wipe the blood on my fists against my wet black suit, spitting on the ground.
“When they puff their chests out, their wings look exactly like a heart pressed together. Don’t you get it? A heart. Lev.”
I blink steadily. “Are you high?” I really can’t afford having another addict to worry about. Like, Knight is already doing my head in.
“Can’t you see?” She grabs both my hands, pulling me to the tree where the doves sit. “This is hope in tragedy. A message from above!”
“A message from my mom?” I repeat slowly so she can hear the full dumbassery of the sentence, though I’m desperate to believe her. And if there’s anyone who can convince me to believe supernatural shit, it’s Bailey. She’s crazy smart.
Bailey nods, her eyes shining like lighthouses in the pitch-black. “The sudden rain? The rainbow? The doves? Rosie is telling you something.”
“That global warming is about to go batshit on our asses?”
Bailey shakes her head vehemently. “That you’re not alone. That you will always have people who love you.” Now she does take my fingers and plays with them.
“What kind of people?” I grunt.
“People like me,” she whispers, tightening her hold.
“Yeah, but eventually you’ll leave.” A grim smile slits my face. “I’ve seen this movie before.” Knight is going through the same thing with Luna, and they were best friends too. “You’ll go to college, and I—”
“Even then, I’ll be at your beck and call.” She tugs and pulls, her voice begging me to believe her. “Try me, Lev. Pick up that phone and call when I’m in the middle of the semester. I’ll drop everything and come. No questions asked.”
I ignore her. “You’ll find a boyfri—”
“Romance is fleeting. Friendship is constant. I will always choose a good friend over a great boyfriend.” She shakes her head. “You’re my soul mate.”
It is not the time to tell her I’m in love with her. It is not the time to tell her I want to be that hypothetical boyfriend. That she is becoming an ethereal weapon of self-destruction for me. That when I jack off, it’s to her image. That when she laughs, my chest feels funny. When she cries, I want to suck in her pain with a kiss and suffer on her behalf.
My knees sink into the muddy ground. Bailey descends with me, our fingers still knotted together. My head drops to her shoulder. And I finally feel them. The tears. They’re coming hot and fast, running down my cheeks like they have somewhere important to go. Bailey swallows me in her arms, stroking my head, my back, my arms. Her lips are in my hair, whispering all the things I want to hear.
That it will be okay. That happiness will find me. That rainbows appear after thunderstorms because the universe is a balancing act of good and bad.
I cry and I cry and I cry until I’m all dried up. Heartbreak gives way to exhaustion. I can barely open my eyes, they feel so puffy. But still, I don’t lift my head up. I want a few more minutes buried in my best friend.
“Can we stay like this?” My lips move against her shoulder blade.
“Forever,” she confirms, pressing her lips to the edge of my ear. “I have nowhere to go. Other than Kansas, maybe.”