Total pages in book: 153
Estimated words: 141492 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 472(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 141492 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 707(@200wpm)___ 566(@250wpm)___ 472(@300wpm)
“This is the way every war has started,” Aabis stated. “Unrest, turning neighbor against neighbor. Did Amastan send an escort with you to ensure you reach home safely?”
“We are leaving the market early,” Safia assured.
“Tell your grandfather that my parents and I will come by tomorrow for tea.” He maintained eye contact with her, indicating he was once again serious about asking for her hand in marriage.
“You are always welcome to visit, Aabis, as are your parents. You know I am promised, and he has arrived to make his official claim.” She managed to get the announcement out as casually as she could. She knew it would hurt him, even though he’d been told by her grandfather both times he’d come to the house asking to marry her.
Aabis stared at her for a long time, almost as if he didn’t believe her. “Have I met him?”
“He comes from a different land.” She was reluctant to admit it. Safia did her best to keep her expression as placid as possible. She didn’t want Aabis to see her insecurities in the matter of her promised husband.
His eyebrow shot up, but he didn’t respond to her comment. “I trust you will be home before sunset.”
“Yes, thank you for your concern. I’ll send for the others and ask them to close the stall early so we can leave.” She wanted to go immediately. She needed to get her family home safely and then get down to the harbor to see if she could locate where the demons were slipping through. She had to close and seal those portals. As soon as Aabis left, she signaled to Amara to start closing the stall and texted Lunja and Farah to close so they could leave immediately.
* * *
• • •
Safia led Izem into the maze of caves through the small side entrance they used when no one was close to see them slip inside. She moved down the stone steps going steadily toward the harbor. Each stair brought her closer to the demons she knew she would have to face. It also took her farther from the man she knew she had let down.
She felt that distance. Strangely, when she didn’t really know him, the feeling was gut-wrenching.
“I understand Petru came to see you last night,” she ventured. What was the use in not asking her brother? She couldn’t discipline her mind from turning to the Carpathian, and it was making her feel bad about herself. She needed confidence, not the mindset of failure, before going into battle with demons.
“Yes,” Izem said, his voice noncommittal.
She sighed. “I’ve never been like the others, Izem. I never dreamt of being a wife with a family of my own. I wasn’t attracted to the men who came around me. And I always knew I was found”—she paused, searching for the right word—“lacking,” she finally said. “Even the ones making an offer for me always wanted to change me. I would never have had what you have with Amara. I wouldn’t be loved for me.”
“Safia, that isn’t true.”
“It is. I can see into people, the way they look at me, and it’s very clear to me, and really, it’s all right. There’s never been a man I wanted to be with.” She hesitated. “If Petru doesn’t want me, Izem, it is better I know it now than having to worry about it while I am fighting demons. I need to be able to concentrate wholly on what I am doing. He was disappointed in the way I fought the vampire. I could tell he thought I was inadequate, not fit to be his partner. If he withdrew his claim on me, please tell me. Don’t wait for Baba or Jeddi to tell me. It might be a blow to my pride, but you know I was unconvinced it was going to be a good match.”
Instinctively, she knew it was going to be more than a blow to her pride. It was going to hurt; she just didn’t understand why. She didn’t want to go off with him to a foreign land. She wasn’t even certain she liked him. She was physically attracted. That was the first time in her life she’d ever had butterflies around a man. The first time her body had responded. That was as much as she would admit to herself. She’d wanted to explore that. And she wanted him to respect her.
“Safia, stop for a moment.” Izem laid a hand on her shoulder.
She didn’t want to face him. She had discipline, tons of it, but for some reason, when she thought of Petru, tears burned behind her eyes. She felt shame that she hadn’t done better fighting the vampire. Shame that she wasn’t good enough for the man. She told herself it was because she represented her people, but she knew it was more than that. She just didn’t know why she wanted Petru to look at her—to see her. To think she was special.