Total pages in book: 48
Estimated words: 45779 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 229(@200wpm)___ 183(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 45779 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 229(@200wpm)___ 183(@250wpm)___ 153(@300wpm)
“Well…” I shrug, as my whole body seems to grow lighter at his words. “I don’t really have much experience in that area. So yeah, I guess I assumed you’d be mad.”
“The only thing that makes me mad is that you feel the need to say sorry for expressing yourself, Jessie.” He sighs. “And just so you know, I don’t care that you’re a virgin.”
I gasp. “You don’t?”
Every time I’ve imagined telling a man about my virginity, I always assumed they’d get this disapproving look in their eyes, as though annoyed at me for not being the sexual partner they wanted. Or, even worse, they’d approach the topic with pity.
But Jaxon isn’t giving me the sense he feels any of that. It’s like I can feel the genuine acceptance emanating from his hard muscled body.
And now that I’ve met him, my Jaxon – my forever man – I’m so freaking glad I never met anyone else.
“I don’t,” he says after a long pause, staring hard at me, as though there are a thousand other things he was thinking of saying. “And what about you? Do you care about my age?”
“No,” I say fiercely, grasping onto his chest.
I’m starting to accept how easy this feels, how natural, as I hold onto him, my fingernails digging into the firmness of his chest.
“I like that you’re older than me. It makes me feel…”
“What?” he urges, touching my chin and redirecting my gaze to his when I look down.
“Safe,” I say, my throat suddenly dry. It’s going to take some getting used to, this sharing my feelings without feeling awkward about it.
“You’ll always be safe with me.”
Always.
Does he mean always as in for however long we’re together? Or does he mean always literally, that we’ll never separate, that we’re in it for life?
Surely he can’t mean the latter. That would make him as crazy as I am. I’m not that lucky.
“I’m glad you asked to see me,” he goes on. “I was going to call you into my office anyway.”
“Am I in trouble?” I manage to push a joking tone into my voice with a slight smile.
He chuckles. “It depends on how you define trouble. I’m taking you on a date, Jessie, a proper one… where we don’t have to pretend for everyone else. Just me and you.”
A quiver of hunger enters his voice toward the end, and his hands squeeze onto my hips. It’s like he’s wordlessly telling me what he wants after our date, or at the very least soon. Part of me wants to doubt this feeling, the way his whole body seems to burn from the inside as he holds me tightly.
But there’s that tugging at my gut, telling me I can trust him, telling me he’s going to take care of me, of us, of our future family.
Does that make me the most naïve person in the world?
What if he hurts me?
These are questions I should be asking, but they all fade away when I think about the prospect of a private date with Jaxon.
“That sounds great,” I tell him. “But…”
He leans down, his face so close to mine, his breath painting me with assuring brushstrokes. “There’s no pressure for anything else. Just good food, good conversation. Seeing you all dressed up for me is enough.”
I’m sure there’s a silent for now in there somewhere, but I choose to ignore it, leaving the problem of my virginity for Future Jessie to deal with.
“I can’t believe you want me, Jax.”
“Of course I want you,” he snarls. “You’re beautiful. You’re cute as hell. You’re intelligent. You’re… you’re you, Jessie.”
I wish I knew if this level of intensity was normal for this early in a relationship, but I have no frame of reference, nothing to compare it to. All I know is it floods me with warmth, causes my inner voice to turn from bitter and mocking – like it usually is – to reassuring and bolstering.
Give yourself to him now, a womb whispers to me. Which is a crazy thing to think, like my body is giving me messages. But I can’t deny that’s how it feels. Mount him, tear your fingernails over his body, bounce and moan and take him until he’s filled you up with his seed and you’re ready to begin a future together.
“Thank you,” I whisper after a too-long pause.
It’s the only thing I can think of to say.
He smirks and presses his lips against mine.
Kissing is so much easier than talking, and for the next little while, we moan and roam our hands over each other. I’m not sure how much time passes, only that I don’t want this to end, don’t want it ever to end.
Then his phone blares from the desk.
With a heavy sigh, he breaks our kiss. “Goddamn, it’s hard to stop kissing you.”