Total pages in book: 36
Estimated words: 33157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 33157 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 166(@200wpm)___ 133(@250wpm)___ 111(@300wpm)
“I can’t think about the future now, Deacon. Not now.”
“I’ll give you everything,” I said, my voice fervent, desperate even. “Anything you want, anything you need from me. I’m always gonna be here, baby. I was wrong to leave you like I did.”
“I understand you had things to do for the club. Iron Tzars needs good men like you. I get you were trying to take down a human trafficking ring and I’d never get in the way of your work. What hurt the most was the way you shut me out. It’s like you saw me as a child instead of your woman.”
“Apple…” I breathed out a sigh and buried my face in her neck. I wanted to deny she was right, but I couldn’t. “I thought I knew what was best for you. I just wanted to keep you safe. Even from me.”
“You’d never hurt me, Deacon. I know that. And I get you were trying to make sure no one could get to you through me. Not for yourself. But for me.”
“Don’t kid yourself, baby. I did it for me too. The thought of being the reason someone tried to hurt you was more than I could handle. It made me need to push you away, even at the expense of your own happiness. You’re young. I hoped you’d get over me and move on.” I frowned. “No. That’s not true. The thought of you with another man ain’t somethin’ I can deal with either.”
“What exactly were you hoping to accomplish?” That was my Apple. She was compassionate, intelligent, and no-nonsense when she needed to be. She also knew me well enough to know I was only telling half the truth.
“Christ.” I scrubbed a hand over my face as I rolled off her to my back on the bed. I took her with me, though she was sprawled on top of me. “All I could think about was keeping you safe. Makin’ sure none of that filth ever touched you.”
“You can’t control everything, Deacon. It touched me without anything to do with you. Calista and Olivia are my friends. I might not have met them if I hadn’t come to be with Lemon.” She sighed, then laid her head on my shoulder. Her legs straddled my hips and it was all I could do not to raise my hips to find contact with her sweet cunt. Even if it was through her shorts. “I learned to live without you. Here. In this place. Now, you invaded my hiding place. I pushed my way through losing you once. I’m not doing it again. So, if you’re not sure or if you plan on going off to fight a war or take down a small country, or go fight the cartel over their skin trade, I want you to leave. Now. If you don’t, I’m not ashamed to pull my sister’s rank and get her to kick you out.”
“Ain’t goin’ nowhere ever again unless you’re with me. That means I request to patch in with Grim Road, then that’s what I do.”
She didn’t move for a long while. Her head on my shoulder, she snuggled her face against my neck and lay there. In the years I’d spent with Apple in the Iron Tzars MC compound, I’d cuddled with her plenty. Even after I’d left. When I did manage to come home, I spent time with her watching a movie on the couch with her in my arms under a blanket. Sure, my hands had drifted. Hers had too. But even those wonderful touches paled in comparison with how it felt to have Apple in my arms right now.
“I don’t know if I trust you with my heart, Deacon. I’m not sure I’ll ever get there. But I want to give you my body. At least, for now. I can’t promise anything after tonight, though. I just know I’ll regret it if I don’t take this time with you. After that, we can go about our business and reevaluate our expectations for each other.”
“I’ll be what you need. From here on out. Ain’t never gonna be parted from you again. We’re a team.”
She raised herself and rested on the arm she braced on my chest. “We’ll see. For now, I want to live in the moment.” Leaning in to brush her lips over mine, she whispered, “Fuck me, Deacon. I want to know what it’s like to have you inside me.”
Christ! Her words were a siren’s song, calling a helpless mortal to the sea to be devoured. And, Goddamn, if I didn’t go willingly. I’d take whatever she offered and beg her for more if it meant I got to stay with her for the rest of my life.
Rolling over so that she was beneath me, I trapped her gaze with mine, intensity flaring between us like a live wire. “You sure about this?” I asked, voice a gravelly rumble, my eyes searching hers for any hint of hesitation. “Much as I want you, I want you to want me too.”