Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84002 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 420(@200wpm)___ 336(@250wpm)___ 280(@300wpm)
“I’m not sure it’s so weird. I don’t think I’d find any similarities we have strange. Just sort of fits.”
Yeah…Shane thought it might fit too.
Their waitress, Libby, came back over. “Hey, Shane. You ready to order?”
“Sure, I am, Libby. You?” He looked over at Van.
Libby looked at Van and seemed to realize who he was for the first time. “Holy cow. Maxwell Sullivan? It’s so good to see you!”
She’d been a few years behind them in school. Shane hadn’t known her much back then, but of course, he knew her now. Everyone knew Van though, and he could tell by the look on Van’s face, he didn’t recognize Libby.
“Hi, Libby,” he said. “It’s good to see you.”
“Remember how good she was at marching band? It was our senior year and she was out there as a freshman, playing at all your games.” Shane tried to jumpstart Van’s memory.
“Yes. You were the only freshman, right?” Van asked and Libby blushed. Fucker had that effect on everyone. “Do you still play?”
She shook her head. “No…don’t really have the time. I work days and my husband works nights. We have three kids. What about you? Do you have any babies?” she asked.
“No, I don’t.”
“Married? Girlfriend or anything?”
Van shook his head. “No,” Van replied. “I did meet a new man recently I’m interested in. We’ll see how it goes.”
Shane’s eyes snapped up to Van, who didn’t turn to look at him, just continued his conversation with Libby. “Good for you. I hope it works out with him,” Libby said without missing a beat. Shane figured most people in Last Chance would have mentally stumbled after hearing Maxwell Sullivan was gay. Even though most of the town knew, there’d likely be a little unease if Shane said the words aloud, too. Not Libby though. He’d always liked her and her husband both.
They spoke for a moment before she took their orders—BLTs, water, and a chocolate mint shake—and said, “It’s great to see you. And you too, of course, Shane. I’ll let you guys get back to it.” She turned on her heels and made her way back to the kitchen.
“We never stop coming out. It wasn’t something I thought about before moving to LA—probably because I never thought I would come out. I probably thought I’d have to say it once and that would be the end of it. Like everyone would know after that. Funny, huh?” Van asked, and Shane suddenly wished he’d had that experience. Maybe it wasn’t one he should wish for, to have to tell everyone he met that he was gay and then worry about their response—but the fact that he’d never really said the words to anyone in Last Chance other than his mom and Caleb felt heavier on his chest.
“Shit…I didn’t mean—”
“No, it’s fine,” Shane cut Van off. “I know you didn’t mean anything. I don’t know why I keep it to myself. I’m not ashamed of who I am. I’m damn proud of being a gay man. It’s also not like everyone doesn’t assume.”
Libby came back with their waters. When she left again, Van leaned back in the seat and locked eyes with Shane. His green gaze was intense, ensnaring him. “That’s one of the things I like and respect the most about you.”
“That I don’t tell people I’m gay?”
“No. It sounds bad when you say it like that. Just the fact that you don’t need validation from anyone for anything. You are who you are and you’re strong in that, even if you’re standing alone the way you did as a child. You don’t have anything to prove to anyone.”
Van ran his finger along the rim of his glass, and Shane waited, heart in his throat, to see what Van said next. Because there was more, he knew it.
“When I lived here, I knew I was gay. I knew I wanted nothing to do with women and I was so afraid of that. I fucked girls to prove to myself I wasn’t. To prove my…straightness. I couldn’t admit the truth to myself, much less anyone else. Then when I moved to LA, it was the opposite. I made sure everyone everywhere knew I was gay. Like I had to prove to myself and everyone around me that I wasn’t ashamed of myself by practically wearing a neon sign. Which isn’t wrong. I’m not saying that, but I did it because I needed to prove something to myself. I needed validation from the world that they knew I was gay whether they liked it or not. You don’t need that. You are who you are and you’ve always had strength in that. I don’t think most people—gay or not—can say that. I’ve never known anyone in my life as strong as you, and the kicker is, I don’t think you see your strength.”