Total pages in book: 157
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 161899 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 809(@200wpm)___ 648(@250wpm)___ 540(@300wpm)
Just a little bit of it and I’d be happy.
Nothing as big as all that was Auggie.
That…
Well, that would only happen in a perfect world.
Not in my world.
Auggie was the impossible dream.
* * *
“You’ve gotta go.”
His breaths were still labored.
So were mine.
But his face was in my neck so I could feel his.
They felt beautiful.
He was also still inside me, mostly because he just came.
And so had I.
That felt even more beautiful.
“Sweetheart,” he whispered.
This shouldn’t have happened.
This never should have happened.
What had I done?
Why had I been so weak?
I pushed against his chest.
“Auggie, you have to go.”
He lifted his head and looked down at me through the dark.
“Pepper, that was good.”
No.
It was so good.
Frantic, I-can’t-wait-to-be-inside-you, I-can’t-wait-to-get-you-inside-me wall sex right inside my front door?
That was not about ending a dry spell.
That wasn’t even about a weak moment.
That was about Auggie.
Auggie and me.
Auggie and me and how unbelievably fucking good we were together.
I’d denied it. I’d denied him. I’d denied me. When I looked at him. When he looked at me. When I was with him.
But it couldn’t be denied.
We’d just proved it.
We were unbelievably fucking good together.
On this thought, with a fair sight more desperation, I pushed again at his chest, trying to squirm away from him.
He kept hold.
And put his mouth to my ear.
“Baby, that was hot, but it was fast, and it was done before things were said. Now we gotta talk.”
“No.” I shook my head. “No talking. No nothing. That was a mistake.”
“It wasn’t a mistake.”
With desperation mounting, I declared, “It was totally a mistake. You are a mistake. This is a mistake. It’s all a huge mistake.”
He lifted his head. “I’m a mistake?”
I hated the tone of his voice.
Disbelieving.
Kinda pissed.
A thread of hurt.
God.
But I couldn’t go back on it.
I couldn’t.
This shit was not going to happen to me again.
And I wasn’t going to put Juno through it.
Why had I given in?
I knew why. A night with Boone and Ryn being cute and so very together, sitting with Auggie, denying myself.
Then, he was so sweet to me, as he always was, eventually letting myself pretend we weren’t there as friends, but we were there…together.
Eventually, I’d had just that little too much to drink to make it safe to drive home. Before my right mind, my good-mom mind, my take-care-of-priorities mind could tell my stupid, selfish mind to stop it, I turned my head and asked him to drive me home.
Now we were here.
In my foyer.
Just having had sex.
And it was me who’d jumped him on my front stoop after he’d done the gentlemanly thing (see! he was perfect!) and walked me to my door.
Then I’d dragged him inside.
“Yes, Auggie.” I squirmed again and this time I got away.
My panties were somewhere on the floor. Fortunately, the skirt of my tank t-shirt dress was easy to shimmy back down.
I went to my front door that Aug had slammed after he’d stalked me into my house and before he’d pinned me to the wall.
And the reminder of all of that sent quivers down my inner thighs.
I opened the door and stood abreast of it, eyes to my feet.
“Pepper, sweetheart, you don’t want me walking out that door,” Auggie warned.
No, I don’t, I thought. I really, really don’t.
But I couldn’t have what I wanted.
I never could.
I’d learned that repeatedly.
Why had I forgotten?
Don’t reach, you might get it and find out (A) you didn’t want it in the first place, or (B) it didn’t want you.
So I said nothing.
He stopped in front of me. I could see the toes of his boots close to mine that were exposed by my flat sandals.
There was something very…wonderful about that.
His boots.
My sandals.
His masculine.
My toenails painted pale pink.
Him right there.
With me.
“Pepper, look at me.”
“You’ve gotta go,” I repeated.
“Juno’s with him.”
That made the back of my neck itch.
Then again, whenever my girl was gone, doing her time with her dad, I had that feeling.
“Yes, she is.”
“So we can talk.”
“We’re not talking.”
“Pepper—”
My head shot up and I snapped, “God! I shouldn’t have to say it again! Get out, Auggie! That was stupid and it was weak and it’s not happening again. I’m already mortified enough I let you fuck me. You’re just making it worse.”
For a second, he seemed shocked.
Shocked and hurt.
My heart squeezed.
That wore off fast, he got in my face and growled, “I’m not gonna play this game.”
“I’m not playing a game.”
“I know women like you. And yes, you are.”
He knew women like me?
I didn’t ask, mostly because he didn’t give me the opportunity.
“Thanks for the hot fuck, babe,” he said. “At least that made it worth putting up with this bullshit play.”
And then he was gone.
I closed the door behind him.
Put my forehead to it.
“Huge mistake,” I whispered.
But I knew.
I could tell myself that again and again and again.
But I’d seen the girls with their guys.