Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 111685 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 558(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 372(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 111685 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 558(@200wpm)___ 447(@250wpm)___ 372(@300wpm)
“I’d already been lonely, and when I went away to East River Falls, I didn’t have good standards to measure people by. A cute boy flirted with me in orientation. My heart started fluttering. When he sat by me in our first class together, I was already crushing on him. When I found out he was a football player, I was gone.”
Stone moved on the bed, and because I worried he was about to touch me, I hurried, my voice only a rasp, “He flirted with me a lot the first two weeks of school. It was nice. It was less lonely. I didn’t have a lot of female friends. There were girls there and a few of us tried to get together, but we were all in the same boat. We were there because we didn’t have money for a better school. All of us were working. Most had full-time jobs. Most didn’t even live there. They commuted. That was the one thing I felt guilty about. I could’ve commuted, but honest to God, I couldn’t handle being in that apartment with my dad anymore. He never talked. He worked and he existed and so did I. The place was so empty and cold after she died. He met Gail the week I left for school, so I think we were both trying to move on, to fill the void, just in our own separate ways.”
“Dust.”
I closed my eyes. A tear leaked out.
He couldn’t say my name like that. I wouldn’t be able to keep going if he did.
“His name was Mark Ranger, and I thought he had the coolest name ever. He was a Ranger. He came from the Rangers up north.”
“The trucking company?”
My heart sank as I remembered. “That’s what I thought. That’s what he let me think, but he wasn’t from that family. It was just a coincidence. He was the big man on campus, or that’s what he wanted. He thought it, so he made it happen like that. Mark was the starting quarterback. I swear, his head, his ego, they just got bigger and bigger and bigger. We were a couple by Thanksgiving. I loved going to his games. I felt important.” Not how I felt at home. “People knew me. People saw me.” I wasn’t invisible there. “I thought I was in love with him by Christmas, and that’s when it turned. Everything turned.”
Pain sliced me.
“He wanted to meet my family. That was the last thing I wanted. I didn’t even want to go back there, much less bring someone else with me. The fighting started then. He didn’t like that we were meeting his family and not mine, but he didn’t have family. I found out later it was a work buddy of his. He was an older guy, and Mark had something on him. Mark grew up in the foster system. He blackmailed this guy’s entire family. They had to act like they were happy and adoring, meeting the girlfriend for the first time.”
Stone cursed, moving on the bed.
I kept on, wincing at how hollow I sounded, “He began pressuring me for sex.”
A savage curse from Stone now.
“The first time was fine. I wanted to. I thought I loved him, but it wasn’t enough. Then things got bad, and I couldn’t stay with him anymore. So I ended things.”
“Are you fucking serious?”
“You’re nothing.”
“You’re fucking white trash.”
“He researched me. I have no idea how he found out, but he did.”
“Don’t think I don’t know about your old neighbor? Stone Reeves.”
His laugh still made me taste acid.
“Were you fucking me while thinking of him?”
“I left him, and that night he broke into my apartment. I had a roommate by then, a girl from one of my classes, and she called the police.”
I could smell the acid.
“I filed a restraining order, and it worked for a while. Until it didn’t. He became obsessed. He was obsessed about you, that I knew you, that he had to live up to you. He kept taunting me, how he was better than you, how he was going to drive down here and beat you up. He was going to come and break your leg so bad that you’d never play football again. And then, in his warped delusion, he was going to take your place. He wanted your life.”
I was in my bed again back there. The window was open. It was summer by then.
“He broke in again, but this time my roommate wasn’t there to call the police. She’d moved home by then. Her family was scared for her.”
My voice broke.
I was not going to tell him about that night. I would never tell another living soul, but I could recount the aftermath.
“I had a dolphin paperweight on my desk. It was a gift from Gail, and when he was in my room, I focused on that paperweight. I only saw that dolphin. I vowed to myself. I vowed that night that if I survived, I’d find the best marine biology program I could and apply to get into it. I’d go into that program and I would study them save them, just like how they had saved me.”