Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 53238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 266(@200wpm)___ 213(@250wpm)___ 177(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 53238 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 266(@200wpm)___ 213(@250wpm)___ 177(@300wpm)
“Put it on, Suki,” Charlotte says.
Suki grins and goes over to the girls, Charlotte helping her get the necklace out of the box and put it on. It takes her a couple of minutes to get the clasp fastened, but Olivia doesn’t jump her about it.
Rachel would be proud of her daughters right now. They aren’t thinking about their gifts. They know Suki deserves this moment just for her.
I clear my throat, some sort of cosmic nudge from my sister telling me that sometimes you have to find the words, even when it’s hard.
“Girls, I know I don’t tell you often enough, but I’m proud of you and I love you.”
Hallie runs over and hugs me. “And Suki, too.”
Suki and I lock eyes as I say, “Suki, too.”
“And Darling.”
With a single note bark of laughter, I say, “I’m not sure about that.”
“He’s part of our family. You love your family.”
“We got you and Darling a present!” The words spill out of Charlotte like she can’t hold them in any longer.
“It was supposed to be a surprise, Charlotte!” Olivia snaps.
“It’s okay, I’ll still be surprised.”
Charlotte searches beneath the tree and finds a box--holding it up. “Is this it, Suki?”
Suki squints, trying to see the tag. “If it says ‘To Carter and Darling,’ that’s it.’”
“It does.” Charlotte runs over to me with the box, her eyes bright with happiness.
It’s wrapped in shiny silver paper adorned with shiny red and green ribbon. I open it and move aside the tissue paper, groaning.
There are two sweaters in the box, both red and cream, with snowflakes and reindeer.
“Matching sweaters!” Hallie cries like it’s not obvious.
“Are you serious?” I mutter.
Suki is holding back a laugh. Olivia and Charlotte are already on the way to the stairs to find Darling.
“Put yours on, Uncle Carter!” Hallie begs.
I shake my head and give Suki an aggravated look. “No pictures.”
“Yes pictures.”
“If my teammates see those, they’ll still be making fun of me when I’m eighty.”
“You have to wear it, Uncle Carter.” Hallie’s tone is no-nonsense. “It’s a present.”
“You’re getting a chicken suit for your birthday, Halls.”
She giggles. “No, I’m not.”
The girls are soon racing back downstairs, Darling waddling into the room in front of them. Suki helps them get Darling’s sweater on, which fits him like a condom.
“It’s a little snug,” Suki says, kissing the top of his head. “But you’re a growing boy, aren’t you?”
I thought I’d get away with wearing the sweater over my T-shirt and pajama pants, but the girls insist I go change into jeans and a dress shirt so I’ll have a collar beneath the sweater.
They’ve got Darling on the couch when I get back downstairs.
“He’s not allowed on the couch,” I remind them.
“Just for the picture,” Olivia says.
“And then another one with you in a wingback chair,” Suki says.
“This is ridiculous,” I grumble.
I can’t believe I agree to it, but I end up on the couch with Darling’s front end on my lap. It takes a lot of coaxing from the girls and Suki to get me to smile.
“Girls, you get up there with them for a picture,” Suki says.
“But you should be in it, too,” Charlotte says.
Suki hesitates. I know what she’s thinking. That this is the only Christmas she’ll be part of our family.
“We’ll do both,” she says. “I’ll take one and then use a timer for one of all of us.”
I can’t believe the girls would rather do these photos than tear into their gifts. Rachel and I would barely let our mom pee on Christmas mornings because we were so eager to open presents.
“Okay,” Suki says when the photos are done. “Do you guys want to check out your stockings now?”
We have the stockings Rachel made for them. She was learning to quilt and she created a quilted stocking for each of them. Olivia’s expression clouds with sadness as she looks at hers, running her fingers over the fabric.
“Those stockings are beautiful,” Suki says gently.
“Our mom loved Christmas,” Olivia says, her gaze on the stocking.
“Especially the Grinch,” Charlotte says. “She made Grinch punch on Christmas and decorated our house with Grinch stuff.”
I never went to Rachel’s to spend Christmas with her and her girls. She invited me every year, and I’d send her gifts and a big check. I wish the pain I felt over that could be physical instead of emotional because it hurts in a way that’s almost unbearable.
When I had the chance to be with them, I chose a workout and football instead. Maybe dinner with a teammate and his family. What a cold asshole I am. If I didn’t have custody of the girls now, would I have ever spent a Christmas morning with them?
The silence stretches, Suki letting the girls sit with their feelings instead of glossing over them. Somehow she always knows when to soothe the pain and when to give it some space.