Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 125866 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 629(@200wpm)___ 503(@250wpm)___ 420(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125866 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 629(@200wpm)___ 503(@250wpm)___ 420(@300wpm)
“Mads, you’re pregnant,” I repeated, like she wasn’t understanding. “I… I’m thrilled. I’m over the moon. I—”
Fuck.
I stopped myself from saying another word, swallowing down the urge and bringing my smile to a neutral expression.
“Are you happy?” I asked. “Because if you’re not, if you’re not ready for this, if you never wanted to have another child, I understand. It’s your body and I—”
“I cried when I took the test,” she said, her nostrils flaring, eyes locked on mine. “I broke down.”
I swallowed and nodded.
The hope in my chest deflated.
But I let myself feel that disappointment for only a split second before I was holding her tight, looking her right in the eyes and letting her know I wasn’t going anywhere.
Whatever she wanted, whatever she decided — I would be there.
Her lips wobbled a bit, but they curled into a smile even as her eyes glossed, two silent tears sliding down her red cheeks. “I was so scared to tell you, because it wasn’t planned. But I… I was so happy, Kyle. I know it’s fast. God, this whole summer has felt like a whirlwind. It’s felt… insane. And now to add this to the equation?” She shook her head, and then her hands were framing my face, and her smile was enough to put that hope back in my soul. “I was scared to tell you that when I was waiting for the result to show, I was praying for a positive. I wanted it. I wanted to be pregnant. God, am I a nutcase?”
“You’re my nutcase,” I said, and I wrapped her into my arms in a crushing hug, lifting her off the couch just like I’d wanted to when she first told me. I spun her around as she laughed, but then she made a comment about throwing up, and I immediately stopped, setting her back on the ground and checking her for bruises like she was a fragile doll.
She swatted me away. “I’m fine. It was a joke.”
“Do you need ginger ale? Water? Saltines?”
“Oh, my God, Kyle.”
“Shit, did the pizza make you sick? You didn’t eat much. What do you need?”
“Shut up,” she said, and she wound her arms around my neck and pulled my lips down to hers. “I’m fine. I… I’m just shocked, I think.”
“Yeah, this was definitely unexpected.”
“No, I mean, I’m shocked by your reaction.”
“What did you think I’d do?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, you didn’t sign up for this. You’re supposed to be fucking models and actresses and living it up as a rookie in the NFL. Instead, you got a single mom with a batshit crazy ex-husband and, now, a baby on the way.”
The word baby made my face split with a grin. “A baby.”
“A baby,” Madelyn echoed on a whisper, and she shook her head, burying it in my chest.
And the moment hit us.
I felt it, not just how it slammed into my chest, but how it knocked the breath from hers, too.
This very same moment had been stolen from us years ago.
This elation, this celebration, this immeasurable amount of love had been ripped away from us.
We’d lost our first child — and neither of us had been able to properly grieve that loss.
Madelyn’s arms slipped from my neck to wind around my waist, and she squeezed me tight, her brows furrowing as I hugged her and held her to me. I kissed the crown of her head, and we both let out long, slow breaths.
It was the most delicate mixture of pain and elation, that hug shared in her half-packed living room.
I felt the loss of innocence, the loss of another life.
But I also felt the birth of a new one — one that was so far from anything I’d ever imagined, and yet brought me so much joy I wanted to burst with it.
“I have a request,” I said after a while, still stroking her hair.
“No, we aren’t naming them Madden.”
I smirked. “Let me be the one to tell Sebastian.”
At that, Madelyn pulled back, her eyebrows sliding together as she looked up at me.
“He’s going through a lot of change right now,” I said, as if his own mother didn’t already fucking know. “I want to make sure he knows that he’s supported through that. That it’s okay to not feel happy about it all. I want him to know we’re a team. And I want to talk to him about being a big brother, about how…”
I swallowed, unsure of how she’d feel about what I was about to say next.
“I want him to know that I see him as my own just as much as this one on the way,” I said, floating my hand down to her stomach again. “And for the next nine months, I want him to know he’s my priority, and that even when the baby comes, he’s needed. And he’s allowed to need us. And… fuck. Do I sound stupid? Am I failing as a dad already?”