Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 58150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 58150 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 291(@200wpm)___ 233(@250wpm)___ 194(@300wpm)
Is he unhappy? Does he think he’s holding me back by working so much? Does he—
“I love you, Maddy. For so many reasons we’d be here until sundown if I listed them all. You’re my forever, my everything, my future, and I don’t need a piece of paper to tell me that. You’re right when you say I like things in order. I like boxes and hard lines. But you? You make my life messy in the best possible way. You remind me that there’s more to life than rules and labels and everything being perfect.”
I purse my lips. “Totally sounds like you just said I’m messy and not perfect, but that can’t be right.”
Damon laughs. “That right there is why I love you more than words can say. Why I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Just, not as your husband. Refusing to get married is almost like … I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like giving that uptight side of me the finger. Not to mention you don’t want to do this. Not really. You’re doing it for me, not for us. You’re more anti-marriage than you are anti-New Jersey. And that’s saying something.”
“I’m so glad after all these years you finally acknowledge my Jersey hate for what it is.”
“Oh, it’s still ridiculous, but I know there’s no changing your mind.”
“True love.” I glance away and swallow hard. “But I do actually want this. I mean, maybe not the wedding, because the thought of having to organize that shit makes me break out in hives, but the marriage. You and me. I want us. Forever.”
Damon’s lips meet mine in a slow, burning kiss. “You’ve always been mine, and nothing’s going to change that.” He takes the ring and slips it on his finger. “Oooh, look at that. We just got married on the side of a mountain in Fiji.”
“That doesn’t count.”
Damon shrugs. “Just giving myself the finger again. I don’t need the wedding to know it’s going to be me and you until the day we die.”
I bite my lip. Relief isn’t what I’m supposed to be feeling right now, is it? I mean, I totally get what Damon is saying, because it’s exactly how I feel. And he’s right. I am doing this more for him than me or us. If he’d said yes, of course I’d go through with it, because I love him.
“You’re thinking way too hard about this,” Damon says. “I can practically hear your thoughts running through that head of yours.”
“Sorry. I just … I was kinda expecting you to say yes. My ego is bruised, but my heart is full, so I have no idea what to do right now.”
“Kiss me? That’s a good thing to do right now.”
He still loves my mouth, and as I kiss him again, it feels like more—like a promise of nothing yet forever at the same time.
I pull back. “No wedding?”
“No wedding.”
“Okay, but you’re the one who’s gonna have to tell my parents and Stacy, because they’ll never believe it was you who chickened out.”
Damon grins. “I’m okay with that.” He stares down at my bloodied hand. “We really should go get that checked out. You may not be dying, but it doesn’t look good.”
“What, no celebratory We’re not getting married blowjobs?”
“Later. Promise.”
Chapter Twelve
DAMON
Maddox’s hand is fine, and the second Joni and Ema, the owners of the place we’re staying at on the island, tell us that, I have Maddox naked and riding my cock.
His hot, tight ass always makes me lose a few brain cells, but being balls-deep in him while he straddles my lap and stares at me with a spark or feeling we’ve never shared before, I can’t help thinking his proposal has changed everything, even though it has changed nothing.
We’re still not getting married, and even though I’ll proudly wear his ring, we’re not engaged. Yet, I can’t help seeing him in a different light. A new light. After four years together, I didn’t think that was possible.
Maybe I’ve been subconsciously waiting for Maddox to freak out again like he did when we first got together. I was definitely worried around the time we bought our place in Brooklyn. Sharing real estate is a big fucking deal, and even though it was my commission from signing Matt and Ollie that paid for the place, I waited for Maddox to put up a fight when I said I wanted it to be ours and I was putting his name on the deed too. But the only concern he expressed was about the mold growing in the spare bedroom. And even then, all he said about it was “That can be your office. I’m too good-looking to die young.”
Maddox giving me this—a promise of forever with a symbol instead of just words—makes the way he’s looking at me so much more intense.