Total pages in book: 59
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 56786 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 284(@200wpm)___ 227(@250wpm)___ 189(@300wpm)
But it wasn’t just the beast’s instincts. Aksel simply liked Lucien. So, so much. He wanted to touch him all the time. To touch his fingers with his. To hold his hand. To hold him, period. He wanted to fuse them together, burrow his way under Lucien’s skin and soak up his warmth. Lucien was so warm. Under all the prickly wariness he displayed to the world, he was so very kind. So very kind and sweet. Aksel sometimes felt like he wanted to swallow him whole, as if Lucien were a candy.
It was stupid. Lucien wasn’t a candy.
Shaking his head to himself, Aksel took Lucien’s hand in his and closed his eyes, allowing the sound of Lucien’s steady heartbeat to lull him into sleep.
After that night, Aksel noticed that Lucien became more relaxed in his presence, the wariness in his eyes fading whenever Aksel grabbed his hand and sat down next to him in public. He smiled more genuinely when Aksel told him about his adventures, none of the fake, nice smiles he gave everyone else. It made Aksel so proud he couldn’t help but scent-mark the other boy all the time: touching his wrist, his shoulder, and sometimes his throat too. Lucien giggled when he did the latter, clearly just humoring him, but Aksel didn’t mind, as long as Lucien let him do it.
His family seemed amused by Aksel’s behavior too, thinking that he was just playing at being a grownup.
They didn’t understand.
They couldn’t.
How could they when Aksel barely understood it himself?
Chapter Three
The ironic thing about being soiled goods was, Lucien didn’t even remember much of the act that had ruined his life.
He remembered being unusually hot that day and going for a walk. After that, everything was a hazy blur. He remembered the crippling need, and he remembered the relief. Everything else was... murky. It was possible his mind simply refused to remember as a self-defense mechanism, but it wasn’t unusual for Dainiri omegas not to remember their heats well. Either way, his next clear memory was of waking up in the forest clearing at the edge of his father’s lands, filthy from head to toe, smelling oddly and covered in a staggering amount of bodily fluids.
The embarrassing truth was, at first Lucien hadn’t even realized what had happened to him—what had been done to him. He’d had to be told by his disgusted, furious father that he’d gone into his first heat and had been raped by what looked like a platoon of Pelugian soldiers. He’d been told he was pregnant—his scent already betrayed it. He’d been told to leave his home and never come back. His feeble, confused attempts to change his father’s mind had been ignored.
It’s your own fault, you little idiot! his father had snapped when Lucien had protested that it wasn’t his fault. He looked incensed, his scent bitter with fury and disgust. Have I not told you not to leave the house unaccompanied around the full moons? You brought this on yourself—on our entire family. We’ll never recover from this scandal! Get out. I never want to lay my eyes on you again.
It was the day Lucien realized how little value an omega had once he was ruined. His father, the man he’d used to worship and adore, his only living parent, saw no value in him now. He didn’t love Lucien anymore. Perhaps had never loved him.
It hurt. It hurt so much.
But it wasn’t even the worst part. Lucien quickly learned how cruel the world was to disgraced omegas. All of his friends suddenly weren’t at home when he called them. His private school ended his enrollment. His credit cards no longer worked. He had no pack, very little money, and no friends. He was completely alone in the world.
It almost didn’t surprise him when he had a miscarriage within the next few weeks. Too little to eat, too little sleep, and too much stress made it almost a forgone conclusion.
Lucien had thought he would be relieved. But all he felt was sickeningly, achingly alone, and more confused than ever. It seemed ironic—and grossly unfair—that he’d been disowned for getting gang-raped and knocked up when he barely remembered the incident nor had the consequences of it in his belly any longer.
All things considered, Lucien knew he was very lucky that Mr. Cleghorn took pity on him. The man was his father’s old friend who’d always been kind to him. He seemed to disagree with how his father had handled things and offered him the protection of his name. Unfortunately, he couldn’t just adopt Lucien: after his first heat, Lucien was considered an adult and adults couldn’t be legally adopted on Eila. So marriage was the only solution, Mr. Cleghorn explained kindly. It all seemed quite logical.
But there was a part of Lucien that didn’t trust it. Didn’t trust the man. He was wary of the alpha’s motives. He didn’t trust that his motives were as selfless and altruistic as he had claimed. His recent experiences had taught him that alphas were selfish, fickle, and cruel. They didn’t care about anything but their own pleasure, reputation, and comfort.