Total pages in book: 108
Estimated words: 105301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 527(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 105301 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 527(@200wpm)___ 421(@250wpm)___ 351(@300wpm)
Ready to tell me? “Are you cheating on me?”
His expression is one of horror. “You think I’d cheat on you?”
“I hope not but…”
“This conversation is over.” He stands and straightens his shirt. “If you honestly believe I’d do that, after all we’ve been through, I’ll…”
“What? You’ll what?” I press when he doesn’t finish his sentence.
“I’ll never forgive you,” he responds and exits the room.
“Where are you going?”
“I need space to breathe,” he snaps, repeating my own words from before, rolling his eyes.
“Fine,” I snap back and all but shove him out of the house. “So do I.”
Arsehole. I slap the door with the palm of my hand and silently scream to help relieve the stress I feel. I am so fucking wound up right now. I want to break something.
“Calm,” I tell myself and lean back against the door. “This will pass.” It’s just a rough patch. We just need to get past it. Things are tense with all that has been happening lately.
Now I feel bad, knowing that Nathan has been dealing with the knowledge that his father is roaming free. He’s no doubt suffering and I’m hardly helping.
Shit.
I didn’t get the chance to speak to him yet about who gets the kids in the worst case scenario. We really have to put all of this in writing. Life is too fragile.
I’ve seriously messed this up.
Nathan: Call me when you’ve calmed down.
Gwen: You’re the one who left.
Nathan: Enough. Enough. Enough. I can’t take this.
Why am I pushing this?
Gwen: Sorry, I’m just in a really bad mood right now. This entire thing has escalated to silly proportions.
Nathan: Agreed. We need to reboot this entire night.
I sigh heavily and squeeze my phone tight in my fist. My mind constantly chants at me to calm down and be rational but it’s so frustrating, especially now that I know he is definitely hiding something.
Nathan: Are you hungry now?
I will the stress to melt away along with my petulance.
Gwen: I could eat.
The door opens less than a minute later and I find myself smiling. It doesn’t matter how badly we fight, I love Nathan so much I’ll always be happy to see him.
“Let’s go and eat then.” He grins, winks at me charmingly and holds out his elbow for me to take.
“We’re a hot mess; you know that, right?”
“We’re passionate,” he corrects and kisses my temple. “The day we stop fighting like this is the day I’ll be scared, because it means neither of us care.”
“What about if we keep fighting all the time? What if we break up because of that?”
He locks the door and leads me to the car, all the while saying, “I’d rather break up because we can’t handle the feelings we have towards each other than us break up because we just don’t care enough to confront each other.”
“I’d rather us not break up at all. We need to work together.”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” He opens up the door for me and holds my hand as I lower myself into the seat. I wait until he’s beside me in his before I respond. “I hope so. It sure doesn’t feel like it.”
Bringing my hand to his lips, he kisses just below my engagement ring and closes his eyes. “The sooner we make this official, the better for the both of us.”
“Marriage won’t change anything.”
“I’ll feel more secure.”
“More secure in what?” I ask as he puts the car in gear and twists in his seat to see behind us.
“Us.”
“Us?”
“I can’t lose you.”
“I’m not going anywhere.” I wish he’d see that. What else can I do to convince him that he’s it for me? I don’t want anyone else.
“It’s not just about that,” he mumbles conspiratorially.
“Then what is it about?”
“Not tonight.” He kisses my hand again and holds it against his thigh. For once I don’t push it; I’m just too drained. We’ll not reach any conclusions to anything while we’re both stuck in such a stubborn mindset. Like with everything Nathan, I have to wait for him to come to me. I chose to respect that when I decided to marry him, to be with him. I’m not going to suddenly stop because it frustrates me.
He’ll open up when he’s ready and when he does, I’ll be ready to listen. I just have to have love and patience.
Which is extremely hard because I just want to know everything now.
We’re late for the reservations but fortunately not by much. I’ve never been to this place before and a huge part of me feels as though I’m cheating on my own restaurant, but there’s no way we could afford those prices right now. Not with how much we’re paying out at the moment and that’s just an estimated guess based on how much Nathan spent the last time we opened a store.