Total pages in book: 115
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 109783 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 549(@200wpm)___ 439(@250wpm)___ 366(@300wpm)
During auditions, there had always been butterflies, but the good kind. I was one of those lucky people who didn’t get stage fright and enjoyed an audition.
This was not that.
I clenched and unclenched my trembling fingers before pushing open the front door. “Hello!” I called as I stepped into the house.
“Who’s there?” Fyfe’s deep voice called from upstairs. The first floor was pretty much a mezzanine level so you could hear everything happening up there from the ground floor hall.
“It’s me,” I said as I began walking upstairs. “Eilidh.”
Footsteps hurried toward me and then Fyfe was in view as I climbed.
He wore his glasses today and a rush of nostalgia moved over me as I stepped off the stairs and into the open-plan living space.
Fyfe gaped like he hadn’t seen me in years. “Eilidh,” he breathed my name.
He held an iPad that he lowered to his side as he continued to stare.
Not quite sure what to do with my body, I strode into the living space so I could stare out at the treetops. “How are you?”
“I … Aye, I’m fine. It’s … I tried … I tried calling.”
I turned to face him again.
Fyfe set the iPad down on the kitchen island and crossed his arms over his chest defensively. The movement caused the Henley he wore to stretch around his powerful biceps. His strong features were neutral, his expression not giving much away. But his eyes gleamed with questions behind the dark frames.
He looked hot with his glasses on. “You should wear your glasses more often.”
Fyfe raised an eyebrow. “Oh?”
I nodded. “I always liked your glasses.” A noise downstairs made me freeze. “Is there someone else here?”
Fyfe glanced over his shoulder. “There’s no one here. I left a window open in one of the bedrooms while I was mapping it for the new system. It probably blew the door shut. Remind me to close it before I leave.”
“Oh.” I guess my nerves were making me jumpy.
“So. Is that why you’re here? To tell me I should wear my glasses more often?”
Nausea roiled in my stomach again and I took a deep breath. “No. I came to tell you something.”
His arms dropped to his sides. “Okay?”
Where to start? Where to start? I didn’t know what to do with my arms. I was an actor. Whenever I had a monologue, I knew exactly what to do with my body. But I had no idea how to keep my legs from buckling as I laid bare my heart to this man.
I strode toward him but stopped at the end of the island so I could lean against it for support. “I’m sorry for not answering your calls or texts. I never intended to ignore you forever. I just needed to deal with tying up my old life first.”
Fyfe scowled. “You couldn’t tell me that? Eilidh, I’ve been miserable for six months thinking I’d fucked things up between us for good. All the while lying to Lewis. I told him we were good friends and then all of a sudden we’re not talking. I lied and told him we were still in contact.”
There was a part of me, a selfish part, that was annoyed we were talking about Lewis. “Can we just focus on us and leave my brother out of this for a second?”
Fyfe pressed his lips together. I didn’t know what his expression meant. Disapproval. Compliance. Who knew?
I continued, “I am sorry. But maybe once I tell you what’s in my heart and mind, you’ll understand why I just needed some time.”
“Six months is a hell of a lot of time, just saying.”
“Fyfe.”
He sighed. “I’m sorry. Continue.”
“First … are you and the American still together?” I’d dreaded knowing, so I hadn’t asked Callie or Lewis about it.
Fyfe frowned. “No. Of course not. We stopped seeing each other last October.”
Oh.
After the wedding?
Why?
Because of our kiss?
Hope fluttered through me. I sucked in a shaky breath. “Since we were kids, you, everyone, has waved off my feelings for you like they were nothing. ‘Oh, it’s just Eilidh being a flirt.’” I smiled sadly and watched Fyfe tense, gaze alert. “But I wasn’t just being a flirt.” My stomach whooshed. Here goes nothing. Or everything, in fact. “I have loved you, Fyfe Moray, in some capacity since I was a wee girl. And the reason it hurt so much for you to kiss me and then immediately regret it is because I’m in love with you.”
I released another shaky exhale as his eyes widened. “I loved you as a kid and then I fell in love with you again when we became friends as adults. Every day I woke up feeling more alive than I had in a long time because I knew I’d get to talk to you. And when that went away, when I pushed you away after overhearing you tell Lewis our friendship was nothing … it was so unbearable being without you, I couldn’t even acknowledge it. You kissing me at my place and then again at his wedding and blaming both moments on alcohol … I reacted the way I did because I’m in love with you and it hurts to think that maybe all that’s between us … well, that for you … is it only physical attraction for you?”