Total pages in book: 83
Estimated words: 77816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 77816 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 389(@200wpm)___ 311(@250wpm)___ 259(@300wpm)
“Luca,” I say, my voice surprisingly strong. “I’ve done my job well, I’ve done nothing but treat Matthieu with the utmost respect, and I’ve given my all to him and this team. My strategy was risky, but it was done with Matthieu’s best interests at heart. I just can’t get him to see that.”
“And therein lies the problem,” Luca says softly. “If you can’t work collaboratively with the drivers, we’ve got a real problem. I’m open to suggestions.”
A million thoughts echo in my mind. I replay every brick wall I’ve come up against, every harsh word from Matthieu, Hendrik’s disdain, and the rampant misogyny, knowing damn well their lack of faith in me is only because I don’t have a dick between my legs. I think of the countless hours I’ve put in, the fact I haven’t been able to sleep in two days because I’ve been analyzing my data, and no one even appreciates it. And just minutes ago, Hendrik threatened to ruin me. I feel like every decision I make will be scrutinized through a lens of doubt, and the idea of continuing in this environment all of a sudden feels unbearable.
For only the second time in my life, I consider quitting something. The first time was quitting my relationship with Nash, and it was an utter mistake. But right now… it seems unfathomable how I can continue such a steep upward climb, especially when I keep getting forcibly knocked down.
“I don’t think I can do this job,” I admit quietly. “Not like this.”
Luca frowns, leaning forward in his chair to cross his arms on his desk. “What are you saying?”
“You said it yourself,” I remind him. “You and Brienne were in agreement that if I caused problems, I’d have to go. It’s clear that I’m the expendable one and frankly, I don’t want to get fired so my résumé stays clean. So, with that,” I say, rising from my chair, “I’m giving you my resignation, effective immediately. I’ve already got a strategy planned out for Suzuka that we were going to be tweaking over the next two weeks. Hendrik can use it or toss it in the rubbish bin.”
“I don’t know that resignation is the answer,” Luca says, standing from his chair.
“It’s an answer,” I say sadly. “The best one for me because you and I both know it’s not going to get better.”
Luca sighs, rubbing his hand over his thinning hair before pinning his gaze on me. “I understand. And I’m sorry this didn’t work out. I thought you had a bright future here.”
So did I, Luca. So did I.
I nod, my throat tight. “Thank you for the opportunity.” I toss my thumb over my shoulder. “I’ll go to my office and clear out my personal stuff.”
Luca just shakes his head. “Best of luck to you, Bex.”
By the time I’m back at my desk, the weight of everything crashes down on me. I type out a formal resignation letter, read through it twice. The words blur as tears sting my eyes. Leaving Titans Racing feels like giving up, but staying feels impossible.
With a shaky breath, I hit print. The paper feels heavier than it should as I sign my name at the bottom.
This is the right decision.
It has to be.
CHAPTER 22
Nash
It’s almost noon when I pull into the Guildford headquarters, my car skidding slightly as I take a sharp turn into the lot. I’m ready to get going on preparations for Suzuka, which is in a little less than two weeks. Today’s agenda includes a strategy meeting to discuss ideas for the upcoming race and then I’m going to get in a much-needed workout since I was a slug yesterday. I spent much of it sleeping to catch up on the jet lag, forcing myself to leave Bex alone. I know she’s got to work through her feelings and the only way she can do that is to continue to go through her data so she can come to the same conclusion that everyone already knows.
She took a calculated risk based on evidence and sometimes shit happens to make things go sideways. She’ll figure that out, accept it and we’ll move the fuck on.
And then, she and I can move on too, because I’m thinking it’s probably time to start accepting that we’re meant to be together. I’m glad my parents forced the conversation on me the other night and gave me the important reminder that I’ve faced scarier comebacks and should be willing to take risks. Just like Bex took the risk in that race, I should be willing to put my heart back on the line for her.
In fact, I plan on finding her before our first meeting and telling her exactly how I feel because to wait another minute seems silly.
Striding through the entrance, I smile at the receptionist, who beams at me. I whistle a jaunty tune as I head straight for Bex’s office, rehearsing what I’ll say to her about not giving up—about not letting Matthieu or Hendrik or anyone else make her doubt herself—and more importantly, I’m ready to jump back in with her.