Total pages in book: 116
Estimated words: 107673 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 107673 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 538(@200wpm)___ 431(@250wpm)___ 359(@300wpm)
Beau’s brow furrowed as he gave me a side-eye. “None of those diagnoses sound like you.”
“Thank you.” I placed a relieved hand over my heart. “I ignored the negativity. I’ve always wanted to shape my own world. Our dreams, the connection… It was real to me.”
“It was two weeks,” Beau said, leaning back in resignation. His hands rested in his lap as he stared at me.
I shook my head. “It was a solid month, but it doesn’t matter. I met my one.”
“Dash…” His voice carried the same doubt I’d heard so many times along the way.
With a lift of my hand, I stopped him from saying more. “I insisted everyone call me Dash. It took time but I refused to answer to any other name. My parents consider nicknames undignified. I suspect they view me as a complete disappointment.”
Beau moved his palm to my thigh, gripping me there. “I don’t like you thinkin’ bad of yourself. I’ll admit that I waited for the times I could check my phone for your messages. I read and reread them every chance I got. You saved my life, but you need to hear me, I’m not that kid anymore. I’m hard and mean and insecure as hell. I don’t know my place or where I belong. I quit football which makes me unable to pay for school, so I’m out…”
“I thought your life’s plan was to work as a delivery driver until you started a fishing charter service,” I said, trying my best to hide my smile at the fun memory. Beau had always had two feet planted firmly on the ground.
The warmth of Beau’s palm disappeared from my thigh. “I haven’t been fishin’ since that day I was with you. My old man kept me prisoner as he drank himself into oblivion.” He bent his head again, eyeing his fists worrying together. “I turned into a coward. I never bucked him. I’m not sure I could be more disappointed in myself.”
This big strong man felt small inside. What a waste. I edged closer. The draw we shared demanded I be as close as I could get. Hell, I’d crawl in his lap if he’d let me, but instead, I covered his hands with one of mine.
He eagerly adjusted until he held it between both of his palms. “It’s like this.” He nodded to our joined hands. “I only touched you to offer comfort. Now here I am, not lettin’ go.”
“I don’t want you to let go. Much of what you’ve said resonates with me,” Dash said. “I’m honestly a mess. It’s worrisome how much influence you still hold over me. I knew happiness today. I haven’t experienced it in years.”
Beau nodded. “You seemed happy. I watched you trot down the stairs. You were wearin’ your suit. It fit you perfectly. I doubt anyone could look as good as you. You command your life. It’s really quite somethin’.”
“You were there today? When I texted you about my win, a strange sensation overtook me. I felt you there. Just like tonight at the bar.”
His grip tightened around mine.
“Congratulations on your victory.” Beau grinned proudly at me with his second genuine smile of the night. Lost in what I wanted most in the world, I moved forward, filling the gap between us.
“You’re beautiful to me,” I whispered and nestled my cheek against his chest, memorizing the rhythm of his heartbeat.
Beau’s rough palm cradled my face, his fingers weaving in my hair. He used genuine tenderness in the way his thumb stroked from my temple to my forehead. Time stood still.
“What about those absurd labels the counselors tried to put on you?” he said defensively.
I chuckled and closed my eyes, letting his touch heal the sorrow of the last many years.
“Don’t worry. It’s all things you’re aware of. I’m a control freak. Stubborn and determined to live my life on my own terms, and I’ve chosen you. If that’s considered insanity, I’m good with it.
This moment would go so much better if Beau dropped the resistance and let me in.
“I should go,” Beau started. “I gave myself twenty minutes here before I needed to head out. We get along so well that if I stay longer, it’ll hurt too bad when I leave. I barely survived losing you once.” Those painful words were uttered as a whisper. His thumb continued tracing various parts of my face. The swipes seemed intended to memorize contours.
I tilted my head to better look him in the eyes. His hands remained on me, his fingers gently cradling the back of my neck. “I was shattered when you left. Everything was gone in an instant. The only way I could deal was by planning for the day you returned. When designing this house, I put the western motif in for you. These back walls retract for easy access to the swimming pool. You loved the water.”