Total pages in book: 171
Estimated words: 170885 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 170885 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 854(@200wpm)___ 684(@250wpm)___ 570(@300wpm)
“I’m starting to learn that now. I wish it was easy to express one’s different sexuality without being judged for it.”
“We would never judge you, hon.”
“You wouldn’t, but society would, Mum. Society would compare me to my sex-god twin brother and label me as the defective one. They already think that in the art circuit anyway. I didn’t want to add my sexuality to it.”
“Society can go fuck itself,” Dad says. “What’s important is you. As long as you’re comfortable in your own skin, everyone else can fuck off. If they say anything, I’ll drag them through enough courts to make them wish they’d never crossed your path.”
I smile a little. “Thanks, Dad.”
“Did…something change?” Mum asks in a hopeful tone.
“What makes you think that?”
“You often look at your phone and have a longing expression on your face.”
“I do?”
Both of them nod and I wince. I didn’t realize I was that obvious.
“Did you find someone who understands you?” Dad asks.
“Will you be too shocked if I say it’s a man?”
Mum’s lips break into a grin. “I knew it.”
“Me, too,” Dad says.
“What?” I stare between them as if they’re aliens. “How…? Why…? When? I didn’t even know it myself.”
“Well, hon. You had your first crush on a guy.”
“What?”
“My stepbrother, Jayden.”
“Jay?”
“You called him a prince and said, ‘Mum, he’s so pretty,’ when you first met him. You were, what? Five at the time? Lan was having fun watching girls fight over him, but you were all over Jay. That didn’t last long and you eventually became friends, but I definitely saw the attraction in your little eyes.”
Right. I do remember thinking he was really pretty. But then puberty came and I never thought of him in that sense. I never thought of anyone in that sense.
With one damning exception.
“Afterward,” Mum continues. “You were more into girls, so I thought maybe you were bi, but I didn’t want to broach the subject until you told me yourself. I’m happy you felt comfortable enough to tell us.”
I smile at her, feeling a bit daft for being so stupidly worried about this. Then I tilt my head in the direction of my father, who’s been awfully quiet.
His face is unreadable as he seems to be fighting his demons.
“Dad? Are you…okay with it?”
“Your sexuality? Naturally. This guy, however, I’m not sure yet. What’s his name? Age? Parents’ names?”
“Uh…so…remember Killian?”
His lips part. “Please don’t tell me you’re with your sister’s boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend?”
“What? No. Of course not, Dad.”
“Ew, Levi.” Mum smacks his hand.
“Fine, okay.” He releases a breath. “It can’t be worse than that.”
“He’s his cousin.”
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Dad’s face literally pales and I kind of feel bad for him. He’s been dealing with Lan his whole life, then he had Kill, who’s also a diagnosed psychopath, and I don’t think he’s even processed that.
“Please tell me he’s the levelheaded cousin who keeps him in check.”
“To be honest, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, but Killian is definitely the one who keeps Nikolai in check.”
“Fuck my life.” He exhales. “Astrid, Princess. I think I’m having a heart attack.”
“Dad…are you okay?” I study him closely. “I’m actually not with him right now, so you don’t have to worry.”
“Oh, screw that.” Mum shakes him again. “Your dad just needs to stop being a baby.”
Coincidentally, Dad’s expression returns to normal. “You’re not together, you said?”
“Levi!” Mum scolds.
“What? I can’t have this bunch of psychos corrupting my children. I’m sure you’ll find someone better, son.”
A sad smile curves my lips. “I don’t think so, Dad.”
“What happened?” Mum asks in a soft tone.
“Something concerning Mia.”
“Lan’s girlfriend?”
“Yeah. She’s also Nikolai’s younger sister and he really, and I mean really, hates Lan’s guts. Mostly because, well, my dear brother caused him and his friends a lot of trouble.”
Mum sighs with resignation. “Lan, oh, Lan.”
“So did Lan beat him up?” Dad asks with a note of anticipation.
“Levi!” Mum scolds again.
“I approve of Lan protecting his siblings.”
“Way to set an example for your children, hon.”
“Did he?” he asks me.
“It was the other way around, and I’m mad at Nikolai for that.”
“Well, didn’t Lan beat up Kill once?” Mum asks.
“That’s my boy.” Dad nods in approval and Mum rolls her eyes.
“Still, he shouldn’t have done it. I begged him not to and he didn’t seem to care.” I release a long sigh. “Anyway, I’m going to be fine.”
“It’s okay if you aren’t.” Dad slaps me affectionately on the back.
Mum hugs me and kisses the top of my head. Her smell and warmth engulf me as she whispers, “I’m proud of you, hon. I love you just the way you are.”
I wrap my arm around her even as I think.
I wish you didn’t.
Now that this admission is out in the open. I know it’s only a matter of time before the rest bulldozes through my weakened defenses.
And when that happens, I doubt I’ll be able to hug her again.