Total pages in book: 135
Estimated words: 125422 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 125422 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 627(@200wpm)___ 502(@250wpm)___ 418(@300wpm)
I know that both siblings have their sights set on going to the Upper World, though they promise to return to Tuonela one day. Lovia still wants to explore the world like a tourist and have various affairs (she says it will take a lot of guys to make her forget what sleeping with the universe was like, and to which I say, good luck with that), and Tuonen has some mysterious rendezvous with someone at some point in time. Whenever I ask, he never elaborates further. Fine, I’ve said, keep your secrets. The point is, the two of them are finally free of their roles in the underworld and it’s been a joy to watch them rediscover themselves and find their agency.
I look over my shoulder at Tuonela, vast and macabre and wild, feeling the cool breeze blow back my hair and ruffle my dress. The surrounding sea is full of white caps, but I know somewhere beneath the surface Bell swims again, along with Vellamo and Ahto. Vellamo’s arm has even started to grow back, made of tiny coral that’s slowly rebuilding.
It may have only been weeks since our lives have gotten back in order, but I’ve never felt closer to the land.
Or to the heavens.
I glance up at the sun, which is unable to burn my eyes. I still have remnants of my power, able to create flames of my own doing. It’s not much—like having lighters for fingers—but I still think it’s cool in an Edward Scissorhands kind of way.
Whether my mother is watching or not, I wave at her. She’s somewhere up there in the blue sky, now with Vipunen, who has abandoned his cave to watch over things from a more distant position. Apparently he chose the caves long ago to keep an eye on the God of Death and his family, but now that everything is in its right place, he’s ascended to the next level of his Godliness.
Or my mother is holding the giant hostage. Even though she seems to be an unfeeling entity, something tells me that divine romance might be in the air. We’ll see.
I continue to look around, my eyes scanning the snow-capped mountains. Somewhere beyond the ranges, the dead live. They aren’t allowed to pass through Death’s Passage—everything from there to here is off limits. But the rest of Tuonela has been repopulated, eons worth of souls making new lives for themselves over every corner of the land. I’ve flown over the settlements a few times on Sarvi, watching as they build. It’s like observing the dawn of civilization, and it’s nothing if not humbling.
I might be the Goddess of Death, and a Goddess of Light, but I hope I never lose my sense of awe for humanity.
And that includes myself.
Later that night, I lie curled in my husband’s strong arms. We find solace in each other’s company every chance we get. You’d think we’re acting like newlyweds, bonking away like bunnies, but it’s pretty much true. This is the first time that I have felt truly united with him, in our home, in our realm.
This is the first time I feel like I truly belong to him.
And he truly belongs to me.
That’s what’s changed.
“I love you,” Tuoni murmurs as he kisses me softly on my head. “I love you, Hanna, to the void and back.”
My heart blooms within my chest, delight weaving through me. When I was in Goddess mode, in the hot springs with Tuoni, and he finally told me that he loved me, I felt it. I didn’t know it at the time, but it reached deep, breaking through my icy veneer. It found the heart and soul of me and it started to grow there. I think that’s what got through to me in the end. The seeds of love he planted grew and blossomed until finally it was bigger than the whole sky, brighter than any sun.
I think that love saved me in the end. It gave me the courage I needed to become who I was meant to become, and embrace who I truly am: messy, complicated and flawed.
And someone worth loving.
“I love you, too,” I say, gazing up at him, taking in the sight of his beautiful eyes, the silver bright against the black kohl. “Though I think you need to tell me that more, to make up for all the times I told you and you didn’t say anything. Talk about hanging me out to dry.”
“You didn’t say it that much,” he says, grumbling. “How about I show you? You know me, I’ve never been very good with words.”
So, I let him show me, since he is very good at that.
He takes me again, from behind this time, like the old days, the both of us coming quickly, our bodies forever a hair trigger. I collapse into the bed once more, catching my breath before curling up beside him.