Total pages in book: 133
Estimated words: 134598 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 673(@200wpm)___ 538(@250wpm)___ 449(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 134598 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 673(@200wpm)___ 538(@250wpm)___ 449(@300wpm)
“Closet. Please.”
“Your closet?” he asked, looking confused.
“Please. Please.”
“Shh, baby. You don’t have to beg. You never have to beg for what you need. Well, unless it’s an orgasm that you want. Then you might have to beg me.”
Shock filled her as his words infiltrated the fog of panic. It took her a moment to realize that he had her cradled against his chest and was walking with her.
The feel of him surrounding her, holding her tight actually helped calm her. How did he do that? He was like her own personal Xanax dispenser. Only with touch and words rather than pharmaceuticals.
“Hey, Ethan, is everything okay?”
She stiffened as she heard Seth call out.
“Yeah, everything is fine. Cate isn’t feeling that great.”
“All right, we need to talk, but it can wait,” Seth said.
Pull yourself together, Cate.
“You can leave me and go speak with your colleague,” she told Ethan.
“I could,” he said. “But I don’t want to.”
He didn’t?
Oh.
“Why not?” she asked.
“Because I want to be here with you.”
They were now inside her room, and he walked to her closet. “You want to go into your closet?”
Now that she could think clearer, she was regretting this.
“Please put me down.”
She felt more in control now. She had this.
Only, as soon as he set her down, everything started to crack again. She fumbled for the door to her closet, diving inside.
This was her safe place. Where she could relax.
Except she didn’t feel safe anymore. She felt like she couldn’t catch her breath. Everything just seemed too much. There was too much noise. Too much light.
“Fuck, baby. What can I do? I’m getting your brother.”
“No! Don’t!”
“Do you want me to leave? Please don’t say you do. I don’t think I can.”
“Stay. Shut the door.” She curled up on her cushion and started to give herself butterfly hugs.
But it wasn’t enough.
She needed more.
She needed Ethan.
“What can I do to help?” he asked.
“You. I need you. Hold me. Now.”
17
Ethan never panicked.
He was always good in a crisis. He never let his feelings overwhelm him or sway him from what needed to be done.
So why the heck was he in such a state of uncertainty right now? He had no idea.
All he knew was that Cate was panicking. And he had to help her.
“I need you,” she whispered in a broken voice.
“You’ve got me, baby. Whatever you need.” Perhaps he should call Rhodes. The other man would surely know what to do. But Cate was asking for him. And the last thing he ever wanted to do was deny her.
So he stepped into the closet and closed the door. He wasn’t entirely sure what they were doing in here. But when she fumbled, finally managing to turn on a nightlight, he took a moment to take everything in.
Cate was sitting on a beanbag chair on the floor and had pulled a blanket over her. She had her arms crossed over her chest and was patting her chest with her hands.
Was she trying to comfort herself?
Moving slowly so he didn’t frighten her, he settled on the floor. “What do you want me to do?”
“It’s not working.” Her breathing was fast and shallow. And he didn’t like it.
Not one bit.
“What isn’t?”
“C-can’t comfort myself. You.”
“You want me to comfort you? To pat your chest?” he asked.
“Hold me.”
She wanted him to hold her?
Well, he could do that.
Sitting on the floor, he held open his arms. “Come here, baby.” Ethan figured it might be better to let her come to him. What he wasn’t expecting was for her to throw herself into his lap. He immediately wrapped his arms around her.
“Tighter.”
He tightened his hold. This was . . . surprising. From what he’d been told and seen, she didn’t enjoy being touched. But he wasn’t questioning it. She turned in his lap so she was straddling him and then wrapped her arms around his neck as she pushed herself into him.
He kept his arms around her back, just holding her until he felt her body relax, her breathing ease.
“You all right, baby?”
“Why are you calling me that?”
“I don’t know if I’m honest. It just feels right.”
“So you don’t go around calling a lot of women, baby?” she asked.
“No. You’re the only one.”
“And you aren’t calling me that because I . . . because you sensed that I am . . .”
“Ahh, you think I sensed you were a Little before last night?” he asked.
“I don’t know that I am. I can’t remember anything I do when I wake up like that in the night.”
“So you haven’t ever slipped into Little headspace any other time?” he asked.
He was surprised by how open she was being with him. Although she did sound completely exhausted. Her words were almost slurring together, as though she’d been on a bender.
He guessed her barriers were down. And he probably shouldn’t be questioning her. But he needed some help to understand this complicated woman.