Total pages in book: 106
Estimated words: 100060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100060 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 500(@200wpm)___ 400(@250wpm)___ 334(@300wpm)
“Exactly.”
Banks turns his disgust on me and I sit down on the windowsill. Or maybe I stumble backward and fall, because my knees have finally given way. My heart is beating in an unnatural rhythm now. It feels so heavy and uncomfortable that I want very badly to rip it out of my chest.
“And you, Tobias.” Banks paces toward me in full coach mode. “You aren’t the same person now that we met on the tram. You were a caricature. A sad walking innuendo. You were everything she said in that article and more, weren’t you? Until she forced you to take off your mask before she would give you the time of day. Why would she bother if all she wanted from you was an entertaining story? If that was the case, she would have been better off leaving you unchanged.”
My throat drops into my socks.
I’m going to be ill.
Banks drops the final hammer. “She was lying to herself. She was pretending this was all one big joke, that we were one big joke, because she was afraid.”
She was lying to herself.
She was afraid.
I should have expected Banks to see through Elise quicker than myself or Gabe. It’s always been that way. His loyal defense of her now boils me in shame. “You’re right,” I say in a threadbare voice. “I overreacted. I let the past get the better of me. I fucked up.”
“I doubted her, too.” Gabe lets out a frustrated exhale, his gaze staring a hole through the bedroom door. “How could I do that?”
“You—we—are all going to make this right with her. Because Elise…she’s not an accident, all right? She was put in our paths—”
“To make all of us better,” I finish raggedly. “And she was put in ours…”
“So we could worship her for it.” Gabe lunges to his feet and yanks open the bedroom door. “Elise.”
I’m right behind him, stumbling through the door, prepared to throw myself down at her feet and beg for mercy. How could I assume the worst in someone who searched for the best in me? I’m a dog. A slug. I’m the lowest form of organism.
My tongue and I have a lot of apologizing to do.
If she lets me.
Lord, what if she doesn’t forgive me?
I’m made so dizzy by the horrible possibility that it takes me a moment to realize Banks and Gabe are starting to look nervous. They enter room after room shouting Elise’s name and all I can do is stand there, my feet encased in cement. No. No. No. She can’t be gone.
“Elise!” I roar, my fist striking out involuntarily and punching a cabinet.
Banks re-enters the kitchen with a yellow, square sticky note in his hands, Gabe following behind him with a pale complexion. “She left this on the door.” He slaps it down in the center of the dining room table. “She went to stop the article from being published.”
Those words don’t penetrate right away. When they do, my skull caves in on itself.
I sent her out into danger. I doubted her, I took out my insecurities on this incredibly giving woman and now she could be hurt. Because of me.
I take a lunging step and lose the entire contents of my stomach in the sink.
Elise
* * *
My Uber pulls up in front of the Times and I leap out, my badge already in hand. Traffic wasn’t as horrific as usual, so I’ve managed to make it here earlier than expected, a New York miracle to say the least. On my way over the bridge, my phone started to ring, so I silenced it. All three men are taking their turn calling me, but I am fully focused on my goal. I’m not looking right or left until it is achieved. When I’m face to face with them again, I want to do it knowing I made every effort to correct my mistake. I want them to know it, too.
I pull open the heavy glass and brass door, jogging through the lobby toward security and scanning my badge. Throwing my purse into a plastic tub and walking through the metal detector. I’m trying not to think about what Tobias, Banks and Gabe would say if I answered the phone—and it’s not too difficult to distract myself at this very moment, because I’m scanning the lobby, looking right, left and over my shoulder for any kind of threat.
There’s nothing out of the ordinary, but I can’t totally ignore the voice whispering in the back of my head that I’m missing something. It started on the ride over from Queens and now, as I enter the elevator, it’s getting louder.
A few moments later, I’m stepping onto the floor where human interest is located.
“Excuse me,” I say breathlessly to the receptionist. “I’m here to see Lisette.”
“She’s downstairs in production.”
“Production? Do you know if they’ve sent tomorrow’s edition yet?”