Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
His admission comes as no surprise. I’ve known for years the truth about that night, even if I couldn’t prove it. I’d begged Katie to come out with the team. I wanted her to help me celebrate my decision to play soccer professionally. I was finally breaking free from our father’s hold, and she was so happy for me she couldn’t say no. And now, because of my request, she’s gone.
Whenever I close my eyes, flashes of her death come back to me in vivid detail. They are the only fragments I remember, but they never leave my mind. We left the bar, drunk and happy. We weren’t paying attention, and I should have been paying fucking attention. Katie screamed when three men cornered us. They demanded my wallet, and I handed it over, but they didn’t leave. Instead, they shattered my knee with steel batons and beat me into unconsciousness while my sister fought to get to me.
Pop. Pop. Pop.
The gunshots still echo through my nightmares. I can still see her body crumpled on the ground beside me, her hair matted with blood and her face unrecognizable. It’s always too late to save her when I wake up, and the pain never goes away. I just want it to fucking go away.
My pulse thrashes in my ears as I turn back to my father, and before I can stop myself, I knock him out of his chair with a solid punch to the jaw. He topples onto the floor, and I follow, each of us wrestling for dominance as we work out our anger the only way we know how.
“Fuck you!” I scream at him. “Fuck you for what you did to her! You should be rotting in a prison cell.”
“Goddammit, Sebastian.” He shoves me off and staggers to his feet, brushing away the blood on his lip. “Can’t you see that I already am? And so are you. We are both rotting in prisons of our own making. The day Katie died, I died too. If you don’t think for one second that I’m paying for my choices, I’m paying for them every time I look in the mirror. Just like you.”
I rise to my feet and meet my father’s blank gaze. The man has never been philosophical. He has never apologized for anything that happened that night. I wouldn’t accept it if he did because he’s right. This is the prison I’ve made for myself. As long as I continue to wake up with a pulse, I will punish myself for her death.
“It’s too late for me,” he says. “I’m dying, son. My body is riddled with cancer. At best, I have six months left, but realistically, I could go next week.”
His impassioned declaration provokes my resentment. Of course, he’s fucking dying. He’s taking the easy way out while I’m left to carry on in the land of the living.
“I didn’t come here to fight with you,” he utters. “But if you want to punch me, then do it. If you want to beat me bloody, or shatter my knee, or shoot me in the goddamned head if it will make you feel better, then do it. I just can’t sit by while you waste your life trying to prove a point to me. This isn’t what you were meant for.”
“This is what Katie wanted.”
“For herself,” he snarls. “Not for you. You aren’t a fucking teacher any more than I’m a saint. You hated this place when I sent you here. Why on earth you would come back makes no logical sense to me.”
“Because I refuse to watch another parent shit all over their kid’s plans.”
A dry laugh wheezes from his chest. “So, you’re going to single-handedly save them all, are you? You’re going to show them all that their parents are wrong, and they can do whatever they want, consequences be damned? Even if it means sacrificing your own life? Your own happiness?”
“What happiness?” I retort. “What the fuck is happiness? I’ve never known it. Neither have you.”
“That isn’t true.” His eyes soften a fraction. “I was happy once. When I had your mother, that was all I knew. When you and your sister were born, those were the greatest moments of my life. I may have been a lousy fucking father, but I was proud to be your dad. And you deserve to have those things too. You deserve better than what you’re settling for right now. Megan still loves you. You could have a real life with her. Your place is back in New York, at the company, with her by your side. Don’t waste your whole fucking life trying to prove a point to a dying man, Sebastian. That’s all I came to say. It’s probably the last chance I’ll get to say it.”