Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 82255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 82255 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 411(@200wpm)___ 329(@250wpm)___ 274(@300wpm)
He says all of this as he stares out the window, and I realize that beneath his indifference, fear lurks. Sebastian wants my assurance that I’ll live here with him. I just don’t know yet if it’s a promise I’m willing to make.
“I would never ask you to sell this place.” I attempt to soften the blow of my uncertainty.
“Then tell me what I have to do to make things right.” His eyes fall on me, and the anguish hidden in those green depths nearly destroys me. I want to vanquish it for eternity, and if I had the power, I would.
“I know about your sister,” I say softly. “Were you ever going to tell me?”
The vein in his neck pulses, and he leads me over to the nearest sofa, making sure I’m comfortable before he retreats to the window. He doesn’t like to be vulnerable, and I get that, but if we still have secrets between us, there’s no chance this relationship will ever work. The last time I confronted him about his father’s death, he left me, and I honestly don’t know what to expect from him right now.
“It’s not a topic I particularly like to revisit,” he says. “That’s why I didn’t tell you.”
“I just need to know that you can talk to me,” I assure him. “That’s it.”
He bows his head and his shoulders tremble under the weight of his silent emotion. “I’ve spent the past five years being so goddamned miserable. She would hate me for doing that. Katie, I mean. She was an amazing person. She would have loved you.”
“I wish I could have known her,” I answer delicately.
“She was my biggest supporter,” he explains. “She came out that night to help me celebrate my decision to go pro. It meant everything to her to see me playing soccer rather than following my father’s chosen path. But he wasn’t the type of man you could say no to. When he found out I was going to be drafted, he hired the men who mugged me. They were just supposed to shatter my knee, and Katie happened to be there. When they attacked me, she lost it. Everything happened so fast, there wasn’t even time to react. One minute, I was on the pavement, and the next, her life was over with three bullets.”
“My God, Sebastian.” I curl into myself as I try to hold it together for his sake. “I had no idea your own father was responsible for that. I’m so sorry.”
“He was a prick,” Sebastian answers flatly. “But on some level, I think I still loved him regardless. Even after everything, when he died, it fucked me up.”
“We can’t help who our parents are,” I tell him. “Or loving them, flaws and all.”
“I was always afraid I’d turn out just like him,” he admits. “And I saw it happening with you. I did things I hated myself for under the guise of helping you in some twisted way.”
“It wasn’t just you,” I concede. “I was an active participant in those twisted games too.”
“I always knew you deserved better.” He wheels around and looks at me. “I still do. But I can’t let you go. I don’t want to.”
I want so badly to tell him he doesn’t have to, but there are still so many things we need to work through.
“How can I know you won’t go back to that dark place again?” I ask.
“When I almost lost you, it woke me the fuck up. The notion of a world without you was unbearable. Not even an hour before, I saw you in that office, pregnant with my child, and it felt like everything was falling together. In a single second, my old life was gone, and my future was sitting right there in front of me. I can’t even explain it, but at that moment, everything became so clear. And I promise you, if you let me, I will spend the rest of my life proving myself worthy of your love.”
He approaches me slowly, and when he collapses onto his knees in front of me, I struggle to keep my emotions in check.
“I will beg for your forgiveness if that’s what it takes.”
“I don’t want you to beg.” I reach out to touch his face. “That isn’t the man I know you to be.”
“Then what?” He looks up at me as his hands come to rest on mine.
“Tell me about Megan.”
“Megan?” He looks confused, as if he doesn’t understand the question. “What about her?”
“The papers said you were with her in New York. After the funeral, you went to dinner with her.”
“Christ, Stella.” His face morphs from confusion to relief. “Is that what you’ve been worrying about this entire time?”
My lack of response is enough for him to take that as a yes.