Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72990 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72990 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
“There you are,” Ellie says, flinging the front door open wide and standing aside for me to enter. “I was hoping you’d get here a little earlier so we could catch up on your love life.”
“My love life is nonexistent,” I say. “My sex life is a different matter.”
Ellie scowls as though she doesn’t believe my attempts to keep the two sides apart. Maybe it’s because she was wholly unsuccessful herself. “Those men were looking at you like you’re a Faberge egg.”
I frown, confused, as she closes the front door with a click.
“Something precious they need to take care of.” she clarifies.
“They’re good men,” I say. “They would be like that over any human being. They’ve been raised right.”
“Ugh,” Ellie says, waving me off. “If I had time to tell you that you’re an idiot, I would, but we’re running late for the movies, so it’ll have to wait for another day.”
Colby jogs down the stairs, and Micky and Seb appear from the den. “Noah is sound asleep,” Colby confirms.
“An emergency bottle of milk is ready in the fridge. Warm it up if you need it,” Micky says.
“And an emergency bar of chocolate, bag of chips, and choice of soda is also available,” Seb confirms with a grin.
“I’m going to hit those snacks like a rabid racoon,” I laugh.
“Love you,” Ellie says quickly, stuffing her arms into the sleeves of a light jacket and drawing me in for a fleeting hug.
“Love you,” the men all croon in harmony.
“Yeah, get out of here,” I laugh, shoving them in the backs playfully as they make their escape.
When the door is closed, I stare around my friend’s home, feeling the silence rest around me like a heavy cloak. They’ve been making lots of little changes, settling into their space and making it theirs as they slowly build memories. New photos have appeared on the wall beside the console table. Sweet black and white shots of them all laying on their bed, Colby on one side of Ellie, and Micky and Seb on the other. Baby Noah is cradled in Ellie’s arms, and they’re all beaming with zero restraint. It’s a picture rooted in the trueness of their love, a picture which builds a sour lump in my throat.
It’s been such a long time since I was part of a family like that. When Dad was killed in a highway accident, it was a horrendous shock to all of us. When we found out there was another woman in the car who had also perished, the shock deepened into betrayal.
It’s hard for me to look at pictures of him now. I feel as though I never mourned his loss, and I know Mom is the same. The anger crystallized over all the happy memories, creating a shattered film that obscured everything that came before. Our family pictures are hidden in the back of a cupboard rather than displayed in enlarged sizes on the wall.
I look at the expressions on the faces of Ellie’s men, matching their broad smiles to pictures of my family when I was a baby. There is similar joy, similar love, but it all turned out to be dark and twisted in the end.
Ellie’s so content and I’m happy for her, but there’s always a niggling doubt in my mind that anybody can be truly trustworthy. For Ellie, there’s the added layer of complexity that her lovers are brothers. What would happen if one of them cheated? Would there be a tug of war over brotherly loyalties vs. relationship expectations? Kain and his brothers are so close, I can’t imagine anything would test their connection. But what could that mean for me?
I shake my head, trying to dislodge my errant train of thought, frustrated that my mind wanders to places I’ve placed big walls in front of.
In the kitchen, there are more pictures from a recent vacation. I don’t look too closely but focus on gathering myself a tray of treats that I can use to soothe the uncomfortable ache in my chest.
I find a true-crime drama, steering clear of Hallmark romances and chick flicks. I need to lose myself in something gripping and forget my own pathetic troubles. When my mind wanders away from the screen and back to Blake, Kain, and Dalton, I mentally run through all the reasons that we can’t be together — Travis, our parents, the world, the risk that we won’t stand the test of time, and everything will be broken — so much so that I convince myself that there’s no hope.
But I can’t push away the yearning I have for the life Ellie’s made for herself. And I can’t help craving the love that I know Dalton, Blake, and Kain have to give.
20
KAIN
The rumble of the crowd is audible from the locker room, setting my nerves buzzing. Coach is going over plays and I try to focus, but all I can think of is Gabriella.