Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72990 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72990 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
She blanches, her head jutting backwards as though I slapped her cheek. “I’m in a relationship with Lukas. We’ve been dating each other for two years.”
“Two years?” I screech as my brain glitches. All this time, she’s been sneaking around behind my back. All this time, while I’ve been worried that everyone will hate me for having feelings for the Nowak brothers, my mom’s been carrying on without a care for anyone else.
I can’t imagine how Travis will react. He was closer to our dad than I was. He took his death the hardest. I think that’s part of the reason why he’s been so protective of his friendships with Dalton, Blake, and Kain. He can’t face losing anyone else important to him.
“We didn’t tell you or the boys because we worried about how you’d react.”
“Yeah, well. You were right to worry.”
Mom pauses and inhales deeply. I can practically see her counting to ten in her head, trying to stay calm while I’m anything but. “Lukas is broken, Gabby. Neither of us can deal with this now while Kain is in a hospital bed.”
“You think I can deal with it now? You lied to me. You both lied to all of us.” Even as the words tumble from my lips like shards of broken glass, I know I’m a hypocrite. But I can’t seem to find the balance when this is my mom, the only person I thought I could trust.
I’ve been holding on to that belief ever since Dad’s accident. When I found out that he was a liar, I needed the surety of mom’s honesty. I still do.
My foundations are rocking, Kain is sick, and I’m haunted by the guilt that my secret could smash Travis’s foundations even more than Mom’s will. I just don’t know what to do.
And when I can’t cope with my feelings, I hide away.
I turn, desperate for a place to escape to. At that moment, Ellie and Dornan walk from the direction of the restrooms.
I leave my mom, her face drawn with emotion, and grab Dornan’s arm. “Can you take me home, please?”
They both stare at me, hearing my distress in the tightness of my voice. “Of course,” Dornan says without hesitation. “Whatever you need.”
We walk away, leaving the scattered remnants of my broken and betrayed heart trampled under my mom’s feet.
24
BLAKE
The sounds of the machines are driving me fucking crazy. And the sight of Kain laid out like a corpse makes me want to punch the wall until my fist is shattered and bloody. I rub my face, and then my eyes. The dryness caused by the air-conditioned air is adding to my exhaustion and frustration. I haven’t felt like this before. Completely out of control, unable to find the funny side of a situation to relieve my stress.
There’s nothing funny about seeing your baby brother in a coma. There’s no bright side to knowing he could have died.
He did die before they brought him back.
It’s a fact I can’t wrap my head around.
It’s quiet now that Dalton and Dad have returned home for a shower, to get a few hours’ sleep, and to gather things for when Kain wakes up. Dad said that last part so loudly it was as if he hoped Kain would hear him and spontaneously open his eyes. It was as though he believed he could will the life back into his son.
Gabriella is convinced that Kain is aware of what’s going on around him. I’m not so sure. I’ve been searching for signs, but there’s nothing. It’s like sitting next to a Resusci Annie.
All I can do is talk because that’s what I do when I’m nervous. Fill the dread-laden silence with something that won’t feel like it’s cutting my heart in two.
It’s amazing how many memories have jumped to the front of my mind so that I can recount them to Kain. Things I know would make him smile if he was awake. The pranks we used to play on Dad and Dalton with whoopie cushions and fake insects. The best one was the plastic poo we left in Dad’s bed. I swear, he was apoplectic before he realized it was a joke. I laugh, but I’ve always felt a little bad for giving Dad such a hard time. We probably shortened his life with all our childish antics.
“Remember when you had your first kiss with Dora-Lee?” I ask a motionless Kain. “You came home looking like someone had stolen your cookie. And when I asked you what was wrong, you told me you wished you waited for it to be with Gabriella.”
I sigh at the picture of us I have in my head. Kain a skinnier, younger version and me without any tattoos. Those days were filled with longing for a girl we never thought we could have. We gave up and settled for other women, passing the time and hoping that someone would measure up, but they never did.