Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 72990 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72990 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 365(@200wpm)___ 292(@250wpm)___ 243(@300wpm)
I’ve even been avoiding Ellie and Celine, too. Their questions will make me face things I’m not ready to deal with.
I’m a terrible daughter, a terrible sister, a terrible friend, and a terrible lover.
In the day, I dedicate myself to assignments and extra reading, and at night I fight my thoughts by falling down the TikTok rabbit hole, until I’m bleary-eyed and my mind is desperate to switch off.
But today Kain is leaving the hospital, and everyone is on edge. Mom’s been baking since early this morning and the whole house is scented with her famous gooey chocolate cake. We’ve been invited to the Nowaks for dinner and Dalton messaged me last night to request that I arrive earlier than Mom and Travis. It’ll be the first time we’ll be alone together since before Kain’s injury and my stomach is a ball of frantic moths searching for their escape.
I’m ready to leave, dressed in a pretty white dress with tie straps and embroidery anglaise detailing, my hair loosely curled and pinned, and gold gladiator sandals strapped up my legs. I’ve even painted my fingernails and toenails in a matching shade of baby pink. When I glance at myself in the mirror, I bite my lip, realizing I’ve subconsciously dressed myself up like a bride or maybe a Greek goddess. It’s too late to change, though, so I grab my purse, hoping no one else will notice, and jog down the stairs. If I’m quick, I can just call out my goodbyes and make a speedy, uneventful exit.
It doesn’t work out that way.
“Gabriella,” Mom calls. “Can you come in here for a second, please?”
I feel like I got a D on my report card, and I am about to get a grilling.
In the kitchen I find Travis at the table focused on his phone, and Mom grating white chocolate over an almost finished cake. She looks up, smiling when she sees me out of my usual yoga pants and baggy tees. Then her expression changes. “I think we should talk before we go next door. There’s a lot that’s been brushed under the carpet while Kain has been recovering and I don’t want it to come out while we’re guests at someone else’s house.”
I nod even though I’d rather just leave everything under the carpet, even our elephant sized secrets and lies.
“We haven’t spoken about me and Lukas since the hospital. I wanted to say that I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that we’re in a relationship. I should have been honest but opening it up to all the potential conflict just didn’t feel right. It’s been a long time since either of us has been happy and it felt fragile. Do you understand?”
It’s hard to find words to answer because I don’t want to sound like a spoiled brat and I don’t have a leg to stand on when it comes to keeping secrets, but I’m still sad and I still feel betrayed.
If I was ten, the kind of outburst that’s brewing inside me would be excusable, but I’m an adult now. I have to fight for maturity to deal with adult issues. Instead of yelling, I try to convey my feelings in a measured tone.
“When Dad died, and we discovered his secret, it really shook my trust,” I say, watching Mom’s face lose color. Travis finally lowers his phone and focuses on me. “We didn’t ever talk about it as a family. I feel like none of us processed what happened…finding out that he’d been lying and his death. I had no place to put my anger or my feelings of betrayal. I didn’t want to upset either of you by bringing it up. We all brushed that time under the rug, and it has sat between us for so long.”
Mom opens her mouth to speak, but I put my hand up. I’m on a roll now and I don’t want to be interrupted.
“When I found out you’d been lying too, it touched a nerve, Mom. You’ve been the only person in my life that I’ve ever fully trusted and now, I feel like that’s gone.”
“I didn’t ever lie,” Mom says. “I just wasn’t open about the truth.”
“Semantics,” Travis says, and we both turn to stare at him.
“Is this how you feel too, Travis?” Mom asks.
“Yes,” he says, placing both hands flat on the table. “Well, the stuff about Dad. Keeping Lukas a secret doesn’t bother me as much as it seems to bother Gabriella. I just want you to be happy. I’ve been away and I’ve been worried about both of you here. Now I find out that the Nowaks have stepped in to take my place.”
“No one could ever take your place, Travis,” I say, shocked.
He shrugs, which is a blatant brush-off, but I’m not standing for that. Not now.