Total pages in book: 128
Estimated words: 124494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 498(@250wpm)___ 415(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 124494 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 622(@200wpm)___ 498(@250wpm)___ 415(@300wpm)
“This doesn’t sound like you’re failing. It sounds like two kids who lost their parents are struggling with how to handle their emotions. Should we get them out here so we can talk it through?”
“They can’t see me like this.” I dash tears away.
“Yes, they can, and they should. You’re hurting too. You’re not their parent, you’re their sister, and they need to understand that this is just as hard for you as it is for them. It’s okay for them to see you upset. It’s how you connect, and heal.” He presses his lips to my forehead, then guides me to the living room.
I sit on the couch, and he crouches in front of me, his hands on my knees. He’s just so incredible. Kind and gentle when the circumstances call for it, intensely focused and ruthlessly competent when it comes to his job and…other things. He knows how to handle this situation and how to calm me. I’m falling deeper every day, and I’m powerless to stop it.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
“For what?” He tucks my hair behind my ear.
For so many things, starting with the morning I left him sleeping in that hotel bed without saying goodbye. “For being such a hot mess. For dragging you into this.”
“No one dragged me here. I called you. I didn’t ask if I could come over; I told you I was. I was showing up no matter what, Lexi. Staying away from you, maintaining a veneer of professionalism, I do those things for you, not me. But when you’re hurting, I can’t toe that line. I won’t. And I will face whatever consequences there are for that, because not being here when you need me isn’t something I can handle.”
“Why do you have to be so amazing?” My bottom lip trembles.
“Why do you?” He passes me a tissue.
“I’m trying so hard not to need you, Roman.”
He strokes my cheek. “That’s because you always have to be the strong one. It’s okay to need someone. It took me until you showed up to realize that.”
I exhale a steadying breath. There are so many things I want to say, but the words won’t come.
“We can figure us out later, when you’re not in an emotional tornado.”
I laugh, and he smiles.
“You let me know when you’re ready to handle the girls.”
I nod. “I’m ready.”
“You’ve got this, Lexi. Take a few deep breaths. I’ll get Callie and Fee. It’s okay for them to see you cry.” He kisses me on the cheek and stands.
I watch him walk down the hall, wondering what the hell my sisters will think when he comes knocking on their doors. I guess I’ll find out soon enough. He returns a minute later with Fee and Callie. Both look like they’ve been crying, and both are wide-eyed.
“Lexi?” Callie runs over. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to make you cry!” Her tears start all over again.
Fee drops her head and peeks up at us through her curtain of hair. I hold out a hand, and she comes around to the other side. And then we’re a mass of limbs and tears. Roman takes a seat on one of the occasional chairs. He’s so calm, composed, completely in control—the opposite of how he is when we’re fighting the draw. But all these sides of him, all the versions I’ve come to know these past few months create a man I desperately want to be with.
I’m past falling. I’ve fallen. That realization is sobering. And damning. But I don’t want to undo it. Not when he’s here, trying to keep us from shattering. Eventually the tears stop.
The intercom buzzes.
I frown, and the girls look confused.
“That’s dinner,” Roman says. “It’s hard to have a productive conversation when everyone is upset and hangry.” He excuses himself to get the door.
“I really like him a lot,” Callie says.
“Me, too,” I whisper.
“Me three. Having him around makes me miss Dad a little less,” Fee admits.
And my heart cracks in two all over again.
Roman returns with pizza, boneless chicken wings, and double-chocolate cake. The girls help set the table and dig in. Of course Roman knows all our favorites. Because he pays attention. Because he cares.
“Okay, let’s discuss what happened today that resulted in everyone in tears,” Roman says once we all have food.
“I’d like to hear your side of things, not just what I’ve been told by someone else,” I add.
Callie takes a deep breath. “Eddie has been chirping me a lot. He wants to be the goalie, but he’s not good enough. At first he would say things when I let a goal get by, but lately he’s started saying other stuff.”
“What kind of other stuff?” I ask.
She ducks her head and picks the burned cheese off her crust. “About me not having parents, and that they only made me goalie because they feel sorry for me.”