Total pages in book: 69
Estimated words: 65083 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 65083 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 325(@200wpm)___ 260(@250wpm)___ 217(@300wpm)
The men have learned, these past weeks, how much I enjoy pleasuring them like this. Eager to assist me in my endeavor, they squeeze even closer together, blocking out the overhead light, but not so much that I can’t see what I’m doing.
I want to take two of them in my mouth at once, but they’re too big; I’d have to dislocate my jaw. I do my best to please them, though, taking each of them as deep as I can, and before long my jaw is aching.
“That’s enough,” Kai decides.
“But you haven’t even come!” I protest.
“I’m sure we’ll get a chance again very soon.”
Before he can say more, Gage picks me up at the waist and tosses me backward onto the mattress. “My turn,” he says with a wicked smile, and he falls onto the bed and buries his head between my legs.
The night passes in a haze of pleasure. My men enjoy letting me order them around, though they’re just as likely to take control when I least expect it. We don’t sleep much, dozing off only to wake again and reach for each other. I have never felt so safe, so secure, so … loved.
Damn.
This wasn’t supposed to be about love.
Afterglow, I remind myself. The world’s best. I wouldn’t be the first person who’s mistaken amazing sex for more than it really is.
When the morning comes, I’m tired, happy, and thankful. And I can feel all the worries I was trying to escape pressing back in on me.
What do I do now?
LEXY
I’m so afraid that I’ll never get enough of them.
Seeing them individually, I was already hopelessly addicted; I know that now.
Being with them together? It’s become as essential to me as air and water.
When I’m with them, I can’t imagine not being with them. Forever.
But when I’m alone, which is mostly only during the day, the doubts creep in. Reality creeps in.
This can’t go on forever.
The men, even Kai, have been discreet, just as we discussed. We haven’t been in public together, but we spend our nights together—all four of us. I was severely sleep deprived for several days, but I didn’t care.
I still can’t get enough of them, but I hate feeling like I’m sneaking around. I hate worrying about Mr. and Mrs. Sanchez finding out about us. The last time I went to their house for the family dinner, I don’t think I breathed the entire time, and the following week, I made an excuse not to go, which felt even worse.
I know what we’re doing needs to stop, but I feel like I’m in quicksand—if quicksand were a supremely enjoyable thing that gave you endless orgasms—and I have no idea how to stop sinking deeper.
Even though wedding planning at Belle Epoque slows down during December, the rest of the meetings staff is in high gear managing a tightly-booked schedule of holiday parties, both personal and corporate, so I pitch in to help, and it provides a good excuse not to think about the fact that the current state of my personal life is unsustainable.
The month passes by quickly, and Las Vegas, for all its artificial glitz and glamor, is truly beautiful with all of its over-the-top holiday decor. It’s frustrating not to be able to get out and enjoy it with my men. No more shopping with Gage, no nighttime bike rides with Thorn, no gallery visits with Kai.
The sex we have together more than makes up for what I’m missing, but it’s not exactly what I’d call a relationship.
Even though I get to see Thorn at the resort almost every day, I purposely keep my distance unless I have to speak to him about a menu, because the last thing I’d want is for Clare to think I’m getting my personal life entwined with my professional one.
All of it is sweet torture, and I don’t know if I’m sad or relieved when the work winds down and it’s almost time for me to fly home to spend Christmas with my mom.
I’m looking forward to seeing her, but I get a sick feeling in my stomach when I think about spending the holiday without my men, especially because I know I need to use my time away to grow my resolve and develop a break-up plan for when I return.
What we’re doing can’t go on forever, and I need to be strong enough to stop things. I need to do what’s right for all of us.
But first, we’re spending one last night together before I leave.
We’re gathering at Thorn’s, because he has a special menu prepared, and I’m dazzled as soon as I walk into his kitchen.
“How long have you been working on all this? Did you start right after Thanksgiving?”
“Just today, though I prepped a few things earlier this week.” He’s mincing chives, and it’s amazing how a small motion can make his biceps flex in such a mesmerizing way.