Total pages in book: 87
Estimated words: 83772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 83772 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 419(@200wpm)___ 335(@250wpm)___ 279(@300wpm)
I didn’t know how to answer it. Didn’t know how to circumvent the precarious position.
“Tell me what you said to him.” He didn’t raise his voice, but his impatience was as loud as a scream.
I didn’t lie because he seemed to know my tells now. Seemed to have stared at me long enough to understand all my reactions like details scribbled on a notecard. So I went with the truth and hoped he would leave it alone. “I—I don’t want to.”
The anger in his eyes told me he wouldn’t let it lie. “Why?”
“Because.”
“Because…” He gave a slight nod, but it was a sarcastic one, the anger visible in the tightness of his arms. “I’m willing to give up my life for yours, but you can’t tell me what you said to him?”
“That’s not fair—”
“Bolton gave me a choice. I can give you back and get my brother’s remains back. Or I could keep you…and let him throw Killian’s bones in an incinerator. You know what I chose, but you can’t fucking tell me what you said to him?” He raised his voice. He looked at me in a way he never had before, like he hated me. “Good to fucking know.” He slammed his hand down on the desk before he rose to his feet, pushing back the chair until it tipped over behind him.
“Theo, listen to me. It’s not what you think it is—”
He grabbed the rifle and headed to the door. “How can I think anything when I don’t know anything? This is the guy who punched you in the face, but you still keep his secrets.”
“It’s not his secret.” I followed him to the door. “Theo, please just let this go. I beg you.”
“So you’ll tell him something but not me?” He looked at me before he opened the door, his disappointment heavy like a pile of snow on a mountainside about to slide down in an avalanche.
I knew he wasn’t ready to hear how I felt. Our relationship was still beginning in a lot of ways. It would put pressure in places where we were weakest, and we would crumble. “Please…just trust me.”
Disappointment was still in his eyes, the curtains drawn closed over the windows. He unlocked the door and opened it to walk out.
I knew I was going to lose him no matter what I did, but this wasn’t the way I wanted to lose him. “He said he would kill you, and I said he would have to kill me too, because I’d rather die than lose you.”
He halted but didn’t turn around, his eyes still toward the parking lot.
“Because I love you.” I felt the terror the moment I said it, felt his hand slip from mine forever. The only thing he’d offered was to try. Try to have something that might fly. But before we could even achieve lift-off, I burdened it with too much weight. “That’s why he hung up.” I turned away from the door because I was too scared to see his reaction. He would be either disappointed or annoyed. Might even feel the ick because of my clinginess. Our relationship finally had its first spring and bloomed, and then I brought the rain. I stepped farther into the gallery so I wouldn’t have to watch him leave. So I could sit and give my legs a chance to recover from the shakes.
But then I heard the click of the lock…followed by his footsteps.
There was a gentle thud as he placed the gun on the desk.
I couldn’t see him because I chose a chair that faced the opposite way, my hands on my knees.
He came around the chair and stared down at me.
I kept my eyes on the coffee table. I’d never been more scared to look at him.
After a moment, he sat at the edge of the coffee table, elbows on his knees, his eyes unreadable.
“I didn’t want to tell you.” I wished I’d never said it to Bolton. Should have just hung up. Why didn’t I just fucking hang up? “Especially not like this.” My eyes moved down to the rug beneath us because I was too much of a mess to look him in the eye. I’d felt so secure in our relationship minutes ago, and now I felt it shatter.
“Sweetheart.” His voice was gentle, with a hint of remorse.
I didn’t look at him.
He didn’t grab my chin like he did before. He let me be. “It’s my fault. I should have trusted you.”
Instead of him being calm and understanding, I expected him to be distant. So distant he was an island off the coast.
“I’ll get you a new phone. Don’t answer blocked calls anymore.”
I hadn’t expected the conversation to go well, but I was somehow still disappointed. My eyes lifted to his.
They were already on mine, like they’d been there all along.