Total pages in book: 93
Estimated words: 85228 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 85228 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 426(@200wpm)___ 341(@250wpm)___ 284(@300wpm)
The sex was fantastic. It always has been, but I could actually feel the disconnect this time, knowing exactly how he felt about it all before it happened.
Before I could lie to myself and imagine him feeling something for me. Last night there was no doubt that it was just a physical interaction.
I could easily convince myself that it wasn't transactional, that there's no way for someone to disconnect themselves so much during sex, but I know better. I know every experience I suffered through before him was just that. In my case feelings I might've had for a man would dry up almost instantly when he put his hands on me.
"You're awfully quiet," Zeus says from the driver's seat of my car.
There's another vehicle pacing us, and it was explained that they'd wait outside while Zeus showed me how to operate the security system before they took him back to the cabin.
"Sorry," I whisper even though there's no real reason to apologize.
I don't owe anyone conversation when I choose to be quiet, but it just seems like common courtesy, the apology something expected. It seems I still have a ways to go in therapy, but I guess one is never cured fully, especially with society's expectations looming over them.
"You don't have to go home. I'm sure Hemlock would let you stay as long as you want," he says as he hits the blinker to turn into my driveway.
"I've stayed long enough," I say, working my seatbelt off as he pulls up in front of my house.
He doesn't argue with me, and I have no idea how my words make him feel because I don't look in his direction. I've avoided eye contact with everyone today, even when I was told that Jersey was going to show me the new security system but he’d left early for a job.
I have no doubt he wanted to get away from me before I questioned what we are now that I slept with him again. As grateful as I was for the distance, I still felt a little sad that he might've left just to get away from me.
I climb out of the passenger seat of my car, looking over my shoulder just as the second vehicle pulls up to the curb in front of my house.
Echo, a man who I just met this morning, dips his head at me just as Zeus steps up beside me.
I pull open the back passenger side door and reach in to help Kiva out. She stretches as usual before trotting along to find a spot to pee.
"Ready?" he asks, making sure to keep an arm's length of distance between the two of us.
"Ready," I say, turning back toward the house.
I scan the front porch, noticing that nothing looks any different than it did before other than the three cameras attached to the house.
Roman had mentioned fifteen cameras, and although I'm not going to go around the outside and count, I can't help but wonder if he put cameras inside as well.
Using the key on the keychain he still has from driving, Zeus unlocks the front door as I notice the blinking red light on the new doorbell, indicating that this is being recorded.
I wonder if Roman is watching right now, feeling upset or relieved that someone else has been given this task rather than being responsible for it himself.
What I need to stop doing is worrying about that man. I'm less than an afterthought for him, and he needs to be the same for me.
"You have all of the feeds on the app I put on your phone," Zeus says, letting Kiva run past us into the house before he closes the front door.
I pull my phone from the side pocket in my leggings, using the face recognition to open it before I hand it over to him.
"You'll get a notification if anyone crosses the path of the camera."
"Sounds like I won't be getting any sleep. I have all sorts of wildlife running out there at night," I mutter.
"We've managed the sensitivity to only register larger things. If a bear is on your front porch, you'll get an alert, but smaller animals won't disturb you."
He opens each image on the phone, showing me exactly where the cameras are pointing, making sure I know that there is plenty of overlap.
"It means even if someone tampers with one camera, another one will see what they're doing," he explains. "This button right here alerts Casper back at the cabin and will call the police for you."
I nod my head, knowing just how long it takes for someone to get here from the cabin, and that it would probably take the police twice as long as well.
"Do you know your neighbors?"
I shake my head. "The house on the right is empty. I know it was an old lady who lived there but she either died or has been placed in a nursing home or something. It's been empty for months. The couple who lives to the left keep to themselves."